By GettinSassy
gettinsassy49@yahoo.com  

How Does BDSM Fit with Jesus?

What a radical concept, huh? Christianity AND BDSM? Well, my thoughts are these.

First, a "Christian" is a human being who has received the free gift of God -- Jesus died on the cross for me! To receive that gift, I simply acknowledge that I am a sinner by nature and without hope to change myself in this world. Jesus came and willingly paid the price for my sinfulness because of His immense love for me. He died because of my sinfulness; He died in my place. I offer Jesus my life as a result of believing His great love for me and make Him my ultimate Master!

"God has shown us his love by sending his only Son into the world so that we could have life through him. This is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the payment for our sins." (1 John 4: 9-10)

BDSM? Well,... I believe that when a man and a woman marry in Christ, with an understanding of the Love of God and the way Jesus loves His Church, there is a very wide latitude of dynamics that can represent that relationship. The bottom line is mutual love and respect. This is a union of two equals who recognize the value of the gift offered. One offers dominance: to lead and protect the other, in love. The other offers submission: honor and obedience, in love. This can be in the bedroom only, even day by day, or it can be lifestyle-24/7. The Dominant is not superior to sub in any way. This is simply a gift ~ a beautiful, honorable gift in both directions. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge." (Hebrews 13:4) So, in my understanding, with the foundation of "SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL," the only other stipulation to keep BDSM practice pure is for it to remain solely within the bonds of marriage.

In the book of Ephesians, in the Bible, there is a section that is used as a guideline for marriage. Eph. 5:15-33:

• See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise,
• redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
• Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
• And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God.
• Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
• For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
• Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
• Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
• So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
• For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
• For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
• "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
• This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
• Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

What makes any great relationship work is a selflessness that desires to please the other. When this is on both sides, things are great! Obviously partners want to be pleased, as well, but in pleasing the other, it always comes back, whether "vanilla" or kinky! A loving relationship is built around unconditional Love, deepening trust, and mutual respect at all times. These are Godly qualities. Sex is God's idea! He wrote the manual and made man and woman in such a way that we are both able and desirous of pleasing each other. The stipulation for it to have God's blessing is for this activity to remain within the boundaries of a monogamous marriage.

Jesus Loves His Church which is His Body (this means ALL who love and desire to please Him), and He gave His life for His Church - for you and me - for All who call on the name of Jesus. This is the instruction of how husbands are to love their wives, Dom/mes love their subs. I do not believe women are subservient to their husbands, nor is that what the Bible teaches, but rather to be open, trusting, and giving to the point of laying down our own agendas, preferences, etc. to serve each other. "Safe, sane, and consensual" applies. Now, this does not include obvious breeches of Biblical teaching, i.e., multiple partners, sex outside of marriage, bi or homosexuality, abuse, or extreme slavery -- as in 'no rights,' but there is nothing wrong with some free exploration.

Anyone who engages in these extra-marital activities is outside of God's blessing, but NOT outside of His great LOVE! The Bible does not teach hate, separation or judgment; it teaches LOVE - God's Love. Jesus did not come into the world to condemn it, but to save those who are lost and call on Him.

Now... this is just my understanding and I certainly mean no offense to the beliefs of others. This is simply said to demonstrate that I can hold dearly to what I believe the Bible teaches and simultaneously believe that moderated BDSM activities, as described above, are acceptable within the marriage of two believers.

~~~~~

Copyright 2003

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