BDSM & Spirituality

By Quirk

quirk@numena.org 
http://www.numena.org 

BDSM practice often seems to lead to a consideration of the spiritual ramifications of what we're doing. It may start with concerns, whether they're articulated to others or kept quietly inside our own heads, that what we are doing may be somehow morally or ethically wrong. We may find ourselves faced with conflict between our religious or political beliefs and what we find ourselves desiring to do. Perhaps a deeply dominant woman or submissive man grew up believing that men and women have specific roles for which God created them, and know that they don't fit into those roles. Maybe a feminist pagan man, who believes that men and women should be absolute equals, and has struggled to make these beliefs a part of his daily life, finds that his dreams are of women who willingly make him the gift of their submission, or even their suffering. Or it could be an equally feminist woman, who has refined her own strength and power until she is utterly confident in them, and yet begins to find herself wanting to be controlled, to surrender that hard-won power to someone who will appreciate what she is giving them. Each of these people, whatever their final decision may be, is forced into a kind of spiritual, ethical re-evaluation that is not typical of our larger society.

Or, for people whose beliefs are able to incorporate BDSM practice without difficulty, the issue of spirituality may arise in the midst of an ecstatic moment in the ritualized environment of BDSM, a moment which feels too profound not to have some spiritual meaning. A submissive washing dishes for his dominant, knowing that each soap bubble, each swirl of water is a gift, an honoring, may feel the humming resonance of a hunger, partially satisfied, deep in his spirit. A domme, caught up in the meditative precision of tying each knot precisely *so*, may feel an echo of cathedral walls around her, each motion guiding her, and those around her closer to the God they seek. A masochist, floating in the scintillations of painwaves as the whip falls against her time and time again, may begin to feel their cadence as the cadence of prayer. A hesitant sadist may, with the first hissing of his partner's breath, begin to understand the transformative power he wields with his strap.

However it happens, whenever it happens, once we get a taste of the spirit that we can reach through this odd realm of lust and stillness, ritual and imagination, we seldom forget it, and many of us begin to try and follow where it leads us. For some of us, it will be only an occasional moment, lovely and savored. For others, it will become an ongoing practice, the voice in which we call upon our gods. We talk about it with each other, sometimes, but mostly we don't write about it, not having the words to say what we know, and feel, or fearing to subject our profound and terrible joy to too much scrutiny. I would like to begin a conversation here, start creating a communal vocabulary, and a safe place for us to share and savor the power and the passion we discover. Will you join me?

~~~~~

Copyright 2003

This article is reprinted here with the explicit permission of the author. If you would like to share it with others, please link directly to this page or contact the author for permission. It is a violation of copyright law to distribute or reprint this piece without that permission, however you may include a short quote from it, not more than 20% of the total text. Please respect the integrity of this work.