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God Wears Black Leather;
By Deborah Addington SCENEprofiles Interview with Deborah
Addington, BDSM & Spirituality Author
For some people, kink (please insert BDSM or other comfortable umbrella term here) is a great way to shed the week's worries, don some sensual, fetishy attire and cathartically express energies allowed no other venue in their lives. For others, kink is a way to get high from doing things so taboo that they not only release endorphins, nature's happy drug, but also release into the mind and bloodstream all of the energy stored in some of our strongest taboos and other deep, gloriously dark secrets. For yet others, kink is a path that leads inward; it is a journey of spirit encased in a body, a path that leads to the Place Where God Dwells. I'm not one of those people who can meditate by sitting in lotus, staring at a candle, incense wafting gently through the air to the subtle rhythms of soothing music. I have a hard time sitting still for that long, and my mind races away with me. God (a word I use that's brief and indicates the All, the Divine, the Great Spirit, Universal Consciousness or whatever you choose to call It) does not wait for me in a dancing candle flame; God is off and running, beckoning me to come and play in a limitless world of experience. My meditative practices take me to other places; rich, darkly-textured places, caves of heaven and clouds of sweetness that have nothing to do with incense. Used to be you were kinky and people looked at you funny; whips and chains were for freaks. It's still true that espousing anything other than conventional spirituality through traditional religious rhetoric and dogma got you some funny looks too; not too many generations ago we were burning witches. Historically, putting kink and non-traditional spirituality together would have gotten you one of those spiffy wrap-around jackets and a nice, soft-walled room in which to wear it. I present at several conferences, large and small, and have noticed a new trend that thrills me: the kink community is experiencing an upswing in classes, seminars and workshops about spirituality. People are not only taking their pleasure seriously; they're harnessing it as a way to express their Truth. Power exchange has always been part of my own spiritual path; I'm delighted to see it emerging from the shadows and being given a voice. I'm pleased, not surprised, by this new trend. The longer our community exists, the more persistent it will be in its own evolution. That evolution embraces the individual as well as the collective in which the individual exists and perpetually goes on to create anew. With that evolution, we change our Selves and the world. A component of evolution is an elevation of consciousness, an awareness of Truth and the quest for its meaning. Kink is the pursuit of a unitive experience, a joining of the self with another through the transcendent exchange of energy. Spirituality is the pursuit of The Unitive Experience, a joining of the Self to God through the transcendent exchange of energy. Kink is a microcosmic mirror experience for the big picture: contact with the Divine. By learning how to seek unity within the context of kink, we teach ourselves a template for exploration in other realms. We teach ourselves what it feels like to find timeless space; we learn what it feels like to access our Truth. It's the same process. You go out and find an altar at which you'd like to pray. You begin to worship. You open yourself up to the energies of that other, and you take them in to you, fusing them with your own. As that fusion occurs, you create the presence of a third entity, the Body Between. You become a Holy Trinity: You, not You and more than You, all at the same time. That connection to another reflects the connection between you and the All. Spirituality is a higher form of deliberate focus and a powerful method by which to explore our connection not only to ourselves, but to Everything else. Kink is the same; it is no wonder that the two easily become parallel, connected. Like religion, kink has the same potential to assist in the end result religions are going for (or were when they started out): Unification with the All. Some people call it God(dess); it's sometimes referred to as the Divine, or the Universe. It really doesn't matter much at all what it's called; the endless game of My God Can Kick Your God's Ass is as tedious and pointless as can be, and God doesn't care what it gets called. It isn't conscious like that. We are the beings that operate on that particular intellectual level. Universal Consciousness (God is so much easier to type!) simply is, without the biases and prejudices that humans carry. Call it what you will. Transcending the Self is transcendence by whatever means. A reason some practice kink is to embrace facets of the Self in order to create a more integrated whole. Within the context of kink, I learn profound amounts about who I am and who I am not. I learn how I engage with the world around me. I learn how to keep my boundaries clear yet flexible. I learn how to merge with the Other, without becoming lost to myself. As humans, we have a deep-seated need to reunify ourselves with Source. We are hard-wired to crave enlightenment and transcendence. Granted, there are graduating levels of intensity, but each time I do a scene I learn more about what works for me, I learn more about verbal and non-verbal communication, I experience a simultaneous rush of power and surrender to the scene itself. To play well, I must be fully aware of who and where I am, while paying full attention to my playmate; I step completely into my skin, and completely out of it. For some, like me, kink serves as a delightful, challenging, rigorous method by which to pursue the highest states of ecstasy that humans can reach. The original point behind every single religion I'm familiar with is to get the practitioner closer to whatever god(s) are involved. People invent religions as a path to establish a connection with the Divine embodied by whichever deity springs fully formed from the mind of man. Religions stem directly from a piece of truth that slipped from one person's lips to become codified and concretized as The Truth. Instead of paying attention to the grain of truth in a message, we solidify the message (and sometimes the messenger) into a religion. Others gone long before established a system by which they claim we can attain unity with the Divine; all we need to is follow the formula, fill in the contract with a name, and go to Heaven when we die. What's actually supposed to happen is that we take a message and the truth it holds, see how it applies to Self, integrate, change and evolve. The downside is that takes work and requires quite a bit of personal responsibility. It is easier to fill in the blanks than it is to claim responsibility for one's own "salvation." Religions are so popular because they're so much less work with virtually no personal culpability at all. Do right by the rules, and you're heaven-bound. Should you screw up, beg forgiveness according to prescribed practices and you're back in the game. Mind you, I am not saying that all religions are bogus; they're not. In fact, all paths are valid—including kink. Acquire a symbol set that has meaning for you, learn that language, and compose your own soul. Religions persist as long as they do because on some level they still possess that kernel of truth that got them rolling in the first place. For some folks, that's enough. For others, more rugged individualism is required. Divine Truth repeats again and again throughout all religions; any true seeker can therefore find it no matter what religious or spiritual path they choose to trod. We're all cut from the same cellular material. We're all a part of the same soup. We're all connected to each other. It's easier to notice the hot chick walking down the street than it is to cultivate the awareness of the presence of the Divine all around us. The web of the Divine is inescapable, though it can be ignored; the hot chick walking down the street is Divine because she is a part of us, because we're all connected. Whether it's the hot chick walking down the street or the person I have tied to a cross, ready to pummel, I honor the Divine in others. I don't like everyone who crosses my path, but I honor them all. When I choose to share myself with another, when I choose to engage in the form of worship called kink, I open myself up to another and I am allowed into them. When we exchange power, we exchange energies. When we exchange energies, we create a third entity: The Body Between. It's that Body that lets us get as close to god as possible while wearing skin. In kink, that phenomenon is palpable, almost visible. Observing an intense scene, one can feel the energy emitted; that energy isn't the Top, or the bottom: it's the combination, the Body Between. It's an act of pure Creation; creation is the true gift of the Divine. One cannot so create without making contact with the All. I meditate in a scene. It's sacred space. I rely on playmates and lovers to show me the face of god; their cries and moans comprise the music of the spheres, the very voice of god and sweeter to my ears than any spoken prayer composed of words. Kink permits me the opportunity to focus my attention, love freely, open myself up to the Divine as it manifests in another person and touch the body of God. I seek enlightenment, and a consistent experience of the unitive state. I long for contact with the Divine. Engaged with another soul, flying right along with me, I have that experience in a physical way; that physical experience serves me as a template for what it's like to be One with Everything. You've probably had one of those Unitive moments. The next time you're involved in a scene that feels that certain sort of "right" to you, look for that Body. Open your attention to the unseen and the unknowable, and know that you have Created. Experience your connection to the Divine. Let God touch you, and hear the whispered "I am here, and having a swell time!" Copyright 2002
~~~~~ This article is reprinted here with the explicit permission of the author. If you would like to share it with others, please link directly to this page or contact the author for permission. It is a violation of copyright law to distribute or reprint this piece without that permission, however you may include a short quote from it, not more than 20% of the total text. Please respect the integrity of this work.
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