Tantra & Sacred Sexuality

By Crimson Lord

The concept of spiritual sex is the closest one can get to the religious concept of Zen. Sacred Sexuality is a form of spirituality which sees sex as a means of reaching a higher level of consciousness, communing with the Divine, harnessing the power of sexuality for the purposes of accelerating personal transformation and enhancing spiritual growth. In India, adepts of tantra and Kundalini yoga maintain that coitus gives the greatest erotic pleasure when penetration is maintained but orgasm is continually postponed, or even denied altogether; the practice is called Karezza or Maithuna. To have an orgasm without ejaculation is to reach nirvana, a high state of bliss.

What follows is to be seen as nothing more than a source for further discovery. It would be impossible for me to include here all aspects of tantric and sacred sexuality. It is hoped that your interest will be aroused, awakened and you will investigate further yourself.

Both love and sex are forms of communication. To draw a physiological analogy, sex is like the nervous system and love like the endocrine system. One is fast and the other is slow. Sex brings about rapid and temporary interactions between people, but love works more slowly and its effects last longer, predisposing the entire organism to an ongoing, evolving relationship. The most 'healthy' situation being both systems working in harmony. Love is an inexhaustible resource. The more one loves the easier it becomes. While it isn't exhaustible, time is, and it takes time to demonstrate love.

There are those who have never learned to love, in the physical as well as the emotional sense, and those who have learned not to love. There are also those who have learned to repulse love. Love demands a degree of vulnerability which not all are comfortable with. Experience, wrongly or rightly, teaches many people not to show love openly, not to risk embarrassment, attack, betrayal, desertion, pain and perhaps worst of all rejection. To honestly say "I love you" may be one of life's most difficult decisions, but ultimately one of the most rewarding. But to be able to love, one must first love oneself. Love well and truly begins at home.

Self love is the ability to trust yourself and listen to your inner voice, you know your own self worth, you know you are a unique and beautiful creature. In the terms of tantra self love is realizing that you deserve the experience of ecstasy and you are not prepared to compromise or settle for less. Trying to love another when you have no love of self doesn't work you end up feeling possessive, jealous, dependent. When you begin to really love yourself you become an magnet, attracting the love of others. Yet you don't need others to feel whole. Love becomes a state of being. The more you learn to appreciate yourself, the more you realize that you, not your partner are the source of your own orgasm. Out of your own sense of abundance, you want to share - you are grateful to receive and give. This is the freedom, the basis of a true partnership.

There are many avenues of tantra including medicine, astrology, yantra yoga (visualization of sacred diagrams), mantra yoga, elaborate ceremonial tantra, amulets, magic to name but a few. Sexuality is also one avenue and a particularly rich avenue to the yogi because it deals with the union of opposites i.e., the male/female or shiva/shakti energies. Because these numerous methods, systems, ideologies - open to human interpretation and traditions (hindu, Buddhist, and Taoist) on classical sexual tantra - utilizing either symbolic sexual imagery or actual partnered sexual activities in order to explain and resolve the energetics of polarity and duality and thence to follow this phenomenon back to its Source in the process of spiritual re-integration, you need to find what works best for you.

It may be a combination of Tantra principles combined with another form of relaxation it may be a combination of all these things taking the best from each. Once you have made the decision to explore the possibilities you need to find the teacher that is best for you. In my opinion, a book may open the way, firstly with enlightenment, but I feel you need the discipline of human contact to put a regime correctly in place. A book has few checks and balances, other than the discipline of the reader and ignorance of the subject matter often gets in the way. Bad habits are always bad habits and will have to face correction in the future for the process to work. There are endless books available, it almost seems compulsory to write one. I think of the old adage: those that can - do, those that can't - write a book. You have to feel at peace with the teacher because you are allowing this person to guide you to an inner path, opening the way to a higher consciousness. You will have to trust this person and for some, accept without explanation.

Chakra is a Sanskrit word meaning wheel, center of energy, a revolving wheel or vortex of energy. The basic view of a Chakra: energy centres found along a central meridian in the body and its extremities. They must in turn be activated and stimulated to allow Kundalini (Chi) energies to grow and arise from the base through to the crown. They exist in the metaphysical body only and although they are related to actual parts of the physical body, they do not exist in a physical sense. The activating is a combination of touch - channeling chi/ prana - prana has been said to translate as "breath." The Sanskrit word "Prana" means life-force or life-energy. Classic Pranayama with its inhale/retain/exhale teaches that during the retention segment, one should consciously retain the prana, then release the ordinary oxygen from the lungs during exhalation, storing the prana in the solar plexis, the first chakra), and visual imagery combined with the use of colour and/or symbols.

There are 7 central or principal Chakras located along an energy channel which runs behind and parallel to the spine. These relate to the endocrine and nervous system of the body. The channel does follow actual physical and neurological pathways through the body that connect the endocrine glands. These seven glands - the sex glands, adrenals, pancreas, thymus, thyroid, pituitary and pineal - regulate the body's vitality and energy flows. By opening this channel, through practices you irrigate those subtle pathways, producing an impression of vitality, rejuvenation and increased sexual energy. Chakras can be opened or closed at will. This is most efficient if one learns to stimulate each center in a participating partner simultaneously.

In classical Tantra this practice of moving energy up through the body is seen as the ultimate union of Shakti and Shiva. Shakti, symbolizing the universal energy, residing at the base of the spine in the form of Kundalini, while Shiva, the principle of divine consciousness, resides at the crown of the head. By leading the vital power of Kundalini-Shakti from the base of the spine through each chakra to the crown chakra, the female and male polarities unite and attain the state of divine rapture.

The first chakra is located at the base of the spine in men, between the ovaries in women, and is the only chakra whose location is sex-differentiated. It's called the "root" chakra, is about survival, and is also where the earth's energy can enter the body.

The second chakra is located above the genital area, below the navel. Its focus is sex, emotions, and where we connect to society.

The third, located above the navel near the solar plexus, is the chakra of divine personal power. It's also the chakra of divine power and although higher than the navel, is the chakra you focus on when "contemplating your navel."

The fourth, located between the nipples is the "heart" chakra. It's about compassion, affinity, and love. All kinds of love: unconditional love, true self-love, love for another, family, earth, pets, or love for all and everything.

The fifth chakra, located at the base of the throat is the chakra of communication, both intra- and interpersonal communication.

The sixth, located in the center of the forehead, is the "third eye, " and is the chakra of psychic ability.

The seventh or "crown" chakra is located at the top of the head. It concerns "knowingness, " or pure intuition. It's also the chakra of teaching, learning, and access to one's higher power, and where cosmic energy can enter the body.

The 4 secondary Chakras: One in each palm of the hands. They come into play whenever we make or do something, and they concern creativity and hands-on healing. The feet chakras are located in the arch of each foot, and help maintain a person's connection with the Earth, keep you grounded and move forward in life.

So what is the relationship between sex and spirituality? Sex and spirituality have long been at odds with one another. Unfortunately many have become conditioned to see sexual and natural function and activity as the opposite from that of spiritual activity. They are unable to resolve their own sexual expression, to move forward without guilt, fear or shame.

While some ancient religions did include sexuality in their rites, others sought to control sexuality, either by suppressing it or by severely limiting its expression. Most of the popular religions of today are sex-negative encouraging marriage as the only socially acceptable form of reproduction of the human kind. Sex outside of marriage is not encouraged. Viewed as a sin. Getting "in touch" with our own body/mind energy is not taught in normal Western education, but rather the reverse - how to not feel and how to conquer the feelings of the body and emotions.

We have to accept our sexuality, our sexual being, embrace it, guiltless, with openness, make know our sexual desires, discuss them freely, honestly, respectfully, with tolerance, it is a natural part of us, as a human being. Sex is a part of adult life and adult life is achieved by breaking away from parents and being independent, adult. We are our choices, our existence and its meaning is in our own hands, we alone decide what our attitudes and behaviors will be.

AWAKENING THE INNER LOVER

Where to begin? With yourself. The lover within. It is a quality a feeling and it starts with breathe.

FIRST TIME - Shower first, think whilst showering that you are cleansing your body as well as your mind. Close your eyes and just let the water run off you taking with it the troubles of the day. Dry yourself and dress in a comfortable robe or loose clothing. Fine a quite spot and sit comfortably, close your eyes and for one minute do nothing at all. Simply try to watch what is going on behind your eyes. Minds won't stop working.

SECOND TIME - Repeat above. This time focus on your breathing rather than mental state. Breathe deeply. Follow the breath through your body. Notice what happens every time you loose track of your breathing your mind comes flooding back.

You are teaching yourself to stop the thoughts. Making love through your thoughts is like trying to do differential calculus with your genitals.

You are not trying to stop thinking. thinking won't go away. Let your mind think. Have a chuckle about it some past or future event and then just bring your awareness back to the breathing and the present.

The quickest way of connecting with your Inner lover is to develop self-appreciation. LOVING YOURSELF. accepting who you are, accepting you don't always accept yourself. This produces a deep relaxation allowing pleasure and delight to happen naturally.

AWAKENING EXERCISE

Repeat breathing as before. Place your hands over your heart. Imagine you are entering a relationship with yourself. Where you are the lover and the beloved. Feel the heart beating. Put no effort into the breathing just travel with it. It is cleansing relaxing.

Let an image rise behind your eyes from your past where you felt totally loved, appreciated, supported, cared for, protected.

Feel the trust, gentleness and vitality blend. Delight in the openness

Travel in time recalling moments again where you felt totally loved, open, vulnerable, energized. Do not censor or rush them. Let them come forth as they will.

When you are immersed in one strong rewarding image, breathe deeply. Remain at first a spectator. Then settle into deep rhythmic breathing and participate more fully, fill in the detail. Let the colours, smells, tastes, textures, sounds come back to you.

Now become enter the scene. Let the feelings of that time well up inside your heart. Welcome them, amplify them. Feel them as directly as you can.

Find a word or phrase that expresses that feeling of well being. Whisper "IT FEELS GOOD TO LOVE ME" or "I ENJOY LOVING ME" or "I AM GOOD". Repeat these positive statements until you feel comfortable saying them aloud. You are accepting yourself, recognizing your uniqueness, your beauty. As you say yes to this voice you are saying yes to yourself.

Gradually return to the present, let your breathing slow down. Release the images, memories and feelings as you exhale. They are birds taking to flight. Know that you have remembered who you are --- a loveable person. You have just met your INNER LOVER

When you awake fully, review the moments in your life, write them down. Imagine which of these you would like to recreate. moments of when you were child like and playful.

What you are in fact doing is breaking the mind habit of focusing on problems rather than pleasure.

If you have a partner approach her or him with the attitude "I AM LOVABLE AND SO ARE YOU". This comes from the old eastern greeting of "I HONOUR THE GOD WITHIN YOU". One to use is a ritualized greeting of "I RECOGNIZE AND HONOUR YOU FROM MY HEART".

This also breaks you away from normal behaviour and attitudes. Perhaps combine the greeting with the following:

Nude facing one another. Use the verbal greeting, then use the sacred sound OM to give yourselves a centered feeling in your heart. Sit facing your partner and gazing gently into one another's eyes. As you inhale bring the palms of your cupped hands together in front of you and rest the thumbs against your chest. Close your eyes and as you exhale bend forward at 45 degrees until your foreheads touch. Keeping your back straight. Inhaling come up straight, open your eyes and say. "(partner's name) I honour the Higher Self in you". Finish with a Melting Hug.

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