Now there's a photo I can appreciate. This is "Mister Balls." (Photo by Sadie)

Sadie's Rant Series: On Close-Up Photos of Cocks, Dongs, Pricks & Maypoles

By Sensuous Sadie
SensuousSadie@aol.com 
www.sensuoussadie.com 

           
Um, not so much appreciation for these...

This one least of all.
 

Having found myself single again I decided to give the ads on alt.com a try. I was pleasantly surprised to find that in contrast to some five years ago when I was last listed there, there are hundreds of Dominants listed who live close to me in Northern Vermont. The only problem was… (drumroll please) an awful lot of them featured close-up photos of their penises. Some big, some not so big, some hard and some… well not quite as hard. The only thing I fortunately did not have to see was a pool of semen, although I’ve been treated to that one.

Well, now, let’s just take a deep breath while I compose myself and tell you why I find this so extraordinarily unattractive. Let me rephrase that a little actually. I love men and men’s bodies, in fact so much that I generally don’t do women. I love cocks, I even love to give spiritual blow jobs. What I do not love is men shoving their paraphernalia in my face as if were a wedding ring. So let’s talk about this a little bit now that you have the big picture.

First, let me say that I’m a photographer and I have seen and taken some very fetching photographs of cocks. In particular I’ve enjoyed photographing "Mister Balls" who has a particularly beautiful set of both. This is art and if I saw those photos of Mister Balls on alt.com, it might be a little less onerous, but I’d still pass him by and here’s why. A guy who posts a close-up of his cock is telling me a few things, all of which are things I don’t want in a Dominant. The first is that his cock is the center of his universe. This is a familiar vanilla sentiment, but not one I’d expect to see in any experienced Dominant who would surely understand that the foundation of BDSM is in the dynamics of the mind. So I know immediately that this is a man who is not a sophisticated thinker and definitely not someone I’d bother with. Secondly, although I love doing everything imaginable with cocks – I do indeed – I do not want a man who sees his Dominance as emanating from this part of his body, which is in part what I mentioned before, but more so. What I look for in those pictures on alt.com is not so much that the guy is good looking, but that they express who they are a whole person. They don’t have to show their identity (I don’t) but something of their personality.

Selling me by selling their cock says that all they want is sex. That may be fine for some Submissives, but I want sex and a whole lot more. I want a relationship, and moreover I want to submit my mind and soul. A cock does not say "Submit to me dear Submissive Sadie." It just says "suck me" which I can hear from any vanilla guy off the street. Worse, it’s just plain tacky. And here’s the really sad part. As much as I hate to say it, close ups of body parts – regardless of what they are, aren’t particularly attractive. Your lover’s cock may be beautiful to you, but a parade of dicks on alt.com becomes tawdry pretty darn fast. And sadly, I’d have to say the same about beaver shots. It’s not about the body boys, it’s about who you are as a person. It may be about the body when you’re at a meat market play party, but it’s generally not when women are looking for a relationship.

Not only do I see these photos on alt.com but I often receive them unsolicited from Dominants and Submissives via e-mail. Bleck. Even worse, I’ve received photos of men’s cocks after they came, with semen dripping wherever they happen to have come. Is this sexy? I’m afraid not, not in the slightest. I might even go so far as to say I was somewhat grossed out.

I realize I’m just speaking for myself, but I believe that there are a fair number of women who are a wee bit fashioned and perhaps somewhat romantic. So a bit of advice from Auntie Sadie boys, keep it zipped up and give us gals something really tasty to look at – your face!


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Read Sadie’s Article The Spiritual Blow Job (No Really!)

Sensuous Sadie is the author of It's Not About the Whip: Love, Sex, and Spirituality in the BDSM Scene. Read an excerpt and more at Sadie's Kinky Goodies http://www.sensuoussadie.com/sadieskinkygoodies.htm. She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of Rose & Thorn, Vermont's first BDSM group. Comments, compliments and complaints, as well as requests for reprinting can be addressed to her at SensuousSadie@aol.com or visit her website at http://www.sensuoussadie.com/. Sadie believes the universe is abundant, and that sharing information freely is part of this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing in most venues.

Copyright 2007 Sadie Sez Publications