http://www.powerotics.com/

http://www.bdsm-academy.org

"I'M AFRAID TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM"

Maine Hospital Procedures for Alternative Lifestylers in Need of Emergency Medical Care and Information for Hospital Personnel Regarding Alternative Lifestyle Patients and Their Injuries

A Collaborative Effort of CUFSmaine and Your Area Hospital

**This article details some legal issues for Maine hospitals that may not be relevant to Vermont.

PERSONAL NOTE: 

In the past year, I have been hearing from an increasing number of BDSM, gay, lesbian, and alternative practitioners who have been injured during play (or injured after play) but have avoided hospitals due to fear and misinformation. They fear arrest, being subjected to mental health evaluations, or having DHS interfere in their lives. The fears are very valid, especially with all the bad press the BDSM community is getting of late.

Since spring of this year, I have been working to gather information, educate medical personnel (as well as domestic violence services) throughout the state of Maine, and find answers to some of the fears stated by members of our community. It has been hard, but rewarding work. Believe it or not, we ARE making strides toward educating people about the BDSM community and our needs as patients. In my research and interviews, I have met with some shock, a lot of positive curiosity, but no hostility. We are gaining ground in the war against ignorance.

It is my sincere hope that the following information (which is available as a pamphlet to lifestylers, hospitals, and social service agencies - e-mail CUFSmaine for information) will alleviate some of the fears and distrust of the medical community.

Be well, 

~ Mistress Ren

QUESTIONS AND FEARS OF ALTERNATIVE SEXUALITY PRACTITIONERS REGARDING EMERGENCY ROOM PROCEDURES.

WILL I, OR MY PARTNER, BE ARRESTED FOR ENGAGING IN UNUSUAL CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ACTIVITIES?

As long as both parties involved are over the age of 18 and all activities, even those that caused the injury/illness, were consensual, you will NOT be reported to the police. Police are only called if one partner wishes to press formal charges against the other for assault, etc. Maine state mandatory reporting involves only minors, the elderly, and persons who are unconscious or incapacitated where there are questions of abuse.

WILL I, OR MY PARTNER, BE REPORTED TO DHS, MENTAL HEALTH AGENCIES, OR THE LOCAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ADVOCACY?

No … not if both parties involved are over the age of 18, not elderly, and all activities were consensual. Domestic violence services or the hospital social worker may be called to the emergency room if the injured partner is unconscious, incapacitated, or under the influence of drugs/alcohol. The advocate will wish to speak to the uninjured partner to determine the cause of injuries. A truthful answer regarding the cause of the injuries will save time and grief.

AM I AT RISK FOR LOSING MY CHILDREN?

Not unless your children were involved in or witnessed the BDSM activity. Like all sexual activity between adults, what you do in your bedroom, away from the eyes of your children, is your business.

WILL MY FAMILY BE NOTIFIED?

If you are over 18, and request that they NOT be told, the hospital will honor your request. You decide who will and won't be notified. HOWEVER, if you are unconscious, incapacitated, or under the influence of drugs/alcohol, a family member will be notified.

WILL MY INSURANCE COMPANY BE TOLD HOW I WAS INJURED?

Unfortunately, yes. Many insurance companies require a copy of physician's notes or dictation in order to process your claim. However, speak to the physician treating you…s/he may be able to word their dictation/notes delicately so as to avoid further embarrassment and questions.

WILL THEY REFUSE TO COVER ME?

This is a question only your insurance company can answer. Your best option is to talk to your insurance carrier. You don't need to mention BDSM, but get a good sense from them about whether or not they will cover accidents caused while participating in sports or in strenuous activity. Make sure there are no hidden agendas regarding self-inflicted injury.

WILL THE EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT STAFF MAKE FUN OF ME?

Emergency personnel have literally seen everything imaginable. While your injury may seem extremely embarrassing to you, it is usually routine to the E.R. staff. Hospital personnel are trained to be non-judgmental and sensitive to the patient, no matter what the situation. You may see a few raised eyebrows and curious looks, but that is only human nature. IF any hospital personnel treat you rudely or insensitively, ask to speak to a supervisor, or contact the head of the department with your complaint.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Personal comment from Ren - Hospital personnel are NOT Gods....they, like their patients, are human beings. They put their pants on one leg at a time. Yes, they went to medical/nursing school....yes, they worked hard for their degrees...yes, they command a lot of respect. But you know what? As a human being, you deserve respect also.

If a member of the medical community doesn't treat you with courtesy, respect, dignity, and compassion - COMPLAIN! You complain when a waitress treats you badly, right? Like waitresses, medical personnel are providing a service - compassion is part of that service. They are there to serve and assist YOU.

You HAVE THE RIGHT to complain about shoddy treatment from a hospital employee ... you have the right to request ANOTHER physician or nurse. Use your rights. Inform the head of the emergency department - insist that the offending personnel be reprimanded. Then, inform the hospital administration offices and public relations offices of your complaints. Hell ... call the CEO's office. 

If BDSM, alternative, gay, and lesbian patients DON'T complain when they are treated badly, the discrimination continues. Speak out, stand tall, and make your rights as a human being known.)

WILL THE PHYSICIAN/HOSPITAL KEEP MY LIFESTYLE PRIVATE?

Physicians are bound by law to maintain confidentiality with their patients. Records and information of your treatment will not be made available to the general public or your family (if you request). However, records are circulated between hospital departments for treatment, and also to insurance companies for payment.

WILL COPIES BE SENT TO MY PRIVATE PHYSICIAN?

Only per your request.

TIPS FROM EMERGENCY PHYSICIANS 

Tell the truth! This was the #1 piece of advice from all hospitals and physicians we spoke to. Be upfront and honest about how you were injured! The medical staff isn't there to judge your lifestyle - they are there to evaluate your injuries. Admitting alternative sexuality activity is embarrassing…but five minutes of embarrassment is better than hours of interrogation by DHS if you try to hide the cause of your injuries.

TELL YOUR PRIMARY PHYSICIAN OF YOUR ACTIVITIES

Some member of the medical community should know your lifestyle in case of extreme emergency. Also, telling your primary physician allows him/her to better treat you and your injuries or illnesses.

DON`T COME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM FOR MINOR INJURIES.

Use the emergency room for emergencies - chest pain, difficulty breathing, bleeding that will not stop, broken bones, allergic reactions, severe burns, heatstroke, diabetic reactions, seizures, and any kind of injuries to the face, hands, feet, or genitalia. Otherwise, see your primary care physician.

INFORMATION FOR HOSPITAL PERSONNEL

Imagine this: You are working at home and severely injure your back. Your spouse/partner wants you to go to the doctors office or the emergency room. You refuse. Last night, you and your spouse/partner engaged in alternative sexual activities that left marks upon your body - marks you consented to. You refuse medical treatment and choose to suffer silently rather than risk humiliation and the perceived possibility of being reported to social services.

Another scenario: During alternative sexual activities, you accidentally get hurt. You are petrified of going to the hospital for fear of you or your partner/spouse being arrested. What do you do?

OR…you are fearful that your partner will be mistaken for a batterer and you, his victim. The thought of being interrogated by emergency staff and social services prevents you from seeking the medical attention you need.

Unfortunately, these scenarios happen every day. This section contains the information you, as the medical professional, need to distinguish the differences between consensual alternative sexual activities and abuse.

QUESTIONS FOR MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS

ARE THESE BRUISES/INJURIES/ETC. THE RESULT OF 'SAFE, SANE, AND CONSENSUAL` ACTIVITY?

The phrase "safe, sane, and consensual` forms the basic 'law` of BDSM…most people (although not all) involved in BDSM activities know this phrase and will respond to it. It is an excellent tool to use to differentiate between BDSM practitioners and abuse victims.

DID YOU CONSENT TO THESE ACTIVITIES?

All BDSM activities involve consent. If your patient doesn't understand the phrase 'safe, sane, and consensual,` ask outright if the activities were consented to by both parties involved. If you ask the patient whether they consented, they will be more likely to divulge the information you are seeking.

Our Thanks And Appreciation To The Following Hospitals And Agencies For Their Assistance In Producing This Pamphlet:

Mercy Hospital, Social Services Dept., Portland

Maine Medical Center, Emergency Dept., Portland

Central Maine Medical Center, Emergency Dept., Lewiston

Franklin Memorial Hospital, Emergency Dept., Farmington

Midcoast Hospital, Social Services and Emergency Dept., Brunswick

Written by Ren, Dominant and Co-Founder of CUFSmaine, a Safe, Sane, and Consensual Alternative Lifestyle Support, Education and Social Group located in Portland, Maine.

Ren is a BDSM safety educator.

Copyright 2000 Mistress Ren, may not be reproduced without permission.

REGIONAL VT & NEW ENGLAND BDSM EVENT LIST

****This list has been updated with most of the organized BDSM groups in the New England area plus one time events at the bottom.

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ROSE & THORN BDSM SOCIAL EVENTS

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For more info contact me: BurlVTSub@aol.com

UPCOMING DATES:

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OTHER GROUPS & EVENTS NEARBY

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****This data is for informational purposes only. It does not imply endorsement by Rose & Thorn of any organization listed here, nor does R&T accept any liability for activities held.

POWER EXCHANGE OF NEW ENGLAND (PENE) - formerly LEATHERBOUND NORTHEAST)

For more info contact: trishnh@hotmail.com

http://welcome.to/PENE

Power Exchange of New England (Pansexual). Monthly munches, socials, and special events. Serving southern NH and VT. Munches every second Tuesday at the Elm City Pub and Brewery in the Colony Mill Marketplace, 222 West Street, Keene NH. Social nights out the last Friday of each month at the Rainbow Cattle Co. Rt. 5 East Dummerston VT. from 8:30-? casual dress.

PENE will have it's regular Thursday night chat from 9-11 on the PENE site. Please drop by. We have new faces every week... along with our regulars. On Friday, July 27th PENE will meet at the 7 Barrels Pub and Brewery in West Lebanon. It is off exit 20 on I 89. Please wear street wear this is not a fetish event. We look forward to meeting you. Bill and I will have on PENE name tags... for easy recognition.

Special ALL day event Aug. 25th A Day of Doming Demo's, Dragon of Dragon Designs will presents various aspects of doming e.g.: full body bondage, Flogging, Frugal Dom tips Members of PENE will also give various demo's on the Violet Wand, Labia weights, and use of the Single Tail..

WEST LEBANON, NH BDSM MUNCH

For more info contact: UVMunch@valley.net

Munch is at the Powerhouse Mall in West Lebanon from 2:00 to 4:30 PM.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UVMunch/

Sept 16^th

Oct 21^st

Nov 18^th

Dec 16^th

WHITE MOUNTAINS MUNCH *** New Group!

For more info contact: HCV1023@hotmail.com

Location: The Mill at Lincoln, Lincoln NH

Millfront Marketplace's food court Route 112 in Lincoln, NH - off Exit #32 on I-93.

BOUND FOR PLEASURE

heather@bfp.com

New England BDSM social group that firmly believes in Safe, Sane and Consensual activities that will reflect on the B/D, D/S, S/M, Fetish and Alternative Lifestyle Communities in a healthy and positive light.

Munches at North Shore Mall , Peabody MA

4th Wednesday of every month

6:30 PM to closing

WESTERN MASSACHUSETTS POWER EXCHANGE

MsAlexandra@wmpe.org

413-782-8829

CUFSmaine

CUFSmaine@aol.com

www.cufsmaine.org

Mistress Ren or Master LesVoiles

A free support, social, and education group located in Southern and Central Maine, serving Maine and New England. Our primary base of operations is Portland, Maine. We offer: monthly Munch meetings at a local restaurant/banquet center the last Sunday of every month, a monthly Newsletter, available both online (free) and via snail mail (yearly subscription to cover printing and postage costs). Also, CUFSmaine hosts bi-monthly (sometimes monthly) classes and seminars at a location safe for newbies. CUFSmaine sponsors the annual Maine B & D Shopping Spree each fall in Portland, Maine, as well as the summer time Kinky Scavenger Hunt.

***NEW GROUP!

CENTRAL MAINE ALLIANCE

CMA@CentralMaineAlliance.org

BDSM social & educational organization serving Maine. Our munches are held the 2nd Saturday of each month, with the place alternating between Augusta and Auburn. In addition we hold classes and other special events throughout the year, and also provide a monthly newsletter, which comes out the 4th Saturday of each month.

UNITED LEATHERFOLK OF CT

a non-profit BDSM support/social group.

http://lauragoodwin.org

laura@lauragoodwin.org

United Leatherfolk of CT (Pansexual) founded in March 1990, is a non-profit support and social group for BDSM men and women of all orientations. Intimate and very friendly. Not public. No fees. Contact me via email if you wish to be considered for membership. This club is especially welcoming and helpful for singles and newbies, but enthusiasts at all levels of development will be comfortable with us. Don't be alone in a crowd: join ULC for the personal attention you need. Email Laura Goodwin for membership info.

WESTCHESTER DOM/ME S SUB

Master.Dyh@verizon.net

Northern Suburbs of NYC, primarily Westchester, Munches on the first Sunday of every month at 5 PM. Play parties on the third Friday of the month.

ROCHESTER KINK SOCIETY

http://www.rks-society.com/events.htm

BDSM organization located in Rochester, NY. Our Mission: To provide BDSM and Kink-Oriented persons with a safe space for learning, practicing, and discussing BDSM and related kink. Holding monthly munches, meetings, demonstrations, workshops, playparties and online discussions.

NEW ENGLAND LEATHER ALLIANCE

NELA is an organization dedicated to making a safe place in the world for all leather/fetishes/SM people through education, advocacy, and charitable giving. They have an excellent quarterly newsletter, and are well known throughout New England as one of our premier organizations. Membership is only $10 (what a deal!) which give you free entry to the Fetish Flea Market in Boston.

www.nla-newengland.org

BOSTON DUNGEON SOCIETY

www.bostondungeon.org

bds-staff@bdsbbs.com

MASTERS AND SLAVES TOGETHER (MasT)

www.mast.net/boston

BosDsCpl@aol.com

THE NORTHEAST EROTIC SPANKING SOCIETY (NESS/TEP)

PO Box 540441

Waltham, MA 02454-0441

PADDLEBORO DEFENSE LEAGUE

www.paddleboro.com

info@paddleboro.com

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ONE TIME BDSM EVENTS

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PICASSO EROTIQUE - AN EXHIBITION OF 350 CANVASES, ETCHINGS, SCULPTURES AND DRAWINGS FROM ABOUT 1900 TO 1972

Where: Jean-Noel Desmarais Pavillion, Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 1380 Sherbrooke Street West (514) 285-2000 www.mmfa.qc.ca

Through September 16th daily 10 AM - 6 PM, Wednesday until 9 PM

Admission (Canadian) Adults $15, Students & seniors $7.50. Half price on Wednesdays.

Events: Guided tours in English at 2PM, 2:30 PM, and 5 PM on Wednesdays free with admission. "Legacy of Genius," a film in English exploring the impact of Picasso's work on 20th century art, will be shown at 4 PM on 8/12, 8/19, 8/26, 9/8, 9/9, 9/15 and 9/16.

Tickets can be purchased in advance through 877-Beaux-Arts

***ASK FOR THE R&T MEMBER DISCOUNT!

4TH ANNUAL LET YOUR DESIRES ROAM WEEKEND

Friday OCTOBER 19,2001 through Sunday OCTOBER 21, 2001in the Poconos.

Hosted by DsDesires

Barry & Gina

http://www.dsdesires.com

718 729-9166

All inclusive...lodgings, meals, snacks, recreational activities, BDSM activities...and all on resort premises...at an absolutely beautiful time of year.

BDSM activities will include Demos/Workshops on Bondage by Master Brent aka PD of Insex, Flogging by Domina Z, Mummification/Sensory Deprivation Play by Mistress Kali of Fetishes Boutique, Hot Wax Play by Barry & Gina, Relationship Workshop by Master Ron & claire. Other activities: Play Auction, 5000 square foot Main Dungeon, Private Equipped Play Rooms, BDSM Games & Prizes, Free Raffle for a Love Swing, Parties, fetish shopping opportunities and more!!!

Plus there's:

- Large Private Rooms, each with a fireplace and Jacuzzi, cable color TV, phone, coffee maker and refrigerator.

- All meals included...Full Country-style Breakfast, Buffet Lunch, 5 course Candlelit Dinner with live piano music, 24 hour coffee and snacks.

- Dare-to-Go-Bare Bonfire (we know how much you enjoyed last years!)

- Trap Shooting

- Golf Driving Range

- Hayrides

- Nature Trails, Lakes

- Tandem Bicycle Riding

- Dance Lounge

- Bar Lounge

- Indoor Heated Pool

- Indoor Tennis

- Indoor Miniature Golf

- Indoor Archery

- Indoor Rifle Range

- Indoor Bowling

- Fitness Room

- Game Room

and more...some will be surprises!!!

Space is limited so register EARLY, our weekends sell out quickly. For full details visit http://www.dsdesires.com/wkend.htm