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Walt Albany & bambi
Dom518RT@aol.com
SENSUOUS SADIE: Although you are only in your early 30's,you have
been long active in the Albany, New York BDSM community. What called you
to activism?
Walt: "At my first munch I was very impressed that the folks with
lots of knowledge, skills and experience were willing to share and teach
others. This is a tradition that I have witnessed repeatedly over years.
I will always be grateful to people like Stone Pony, Lady Jenais, Master
R, and a few others for taking the time to help me or give me good
opportunities when I was new. Their initial examples left a positive
impression on me, and I do what I can to continue this tradition."
Sadie: You have served as a Dungeon Monitor for various play
events including New York's Eulenspeigel Society's TES Fest. What
situations do you find to be the most challenging in terms of
determining if an activity is safe?
Walt: "I am thankful for my DMing experiences because I have
learned to focus on the realities behind the magic. I have seen some
absolutely beautiful and intense scenes as a DM that I might have passed
by otherwise. Every once in a while someone might need some water or a
spotter, gloves or some lube. Crowd control, and keeping others out of
the play area is also important. These things are easy to attend to, and
I am glad to help. The real challenge is to be continually aware of the
space that is being monitored and see the little things. The most
challenging part of DMing is also the rarest for me, and that is knowing
when to tactfully approach a dominant or top when I think they might
benefit from a different perspective."
Sadie: Can you give me some examples of this?
Walt: "The first time I approached a dominant as a DM was when I
noticed he and his partner were both sweating a lot. It was very hot in
the space, he was wearing all latex, and I knew they both needed some
water. Because I knew the dominant, I got a couple bottles of water and
some cups, and a straw, and just went into his view with it, and smiled
as I presented it. It was an easy enough thing to do. When he saw me, he
smiled, came over, got the water, gave me a kiss on the cheek, gave his
partner a drink, enjoyed some himself and then continued an amazing
scene. Later he thanked me, and explained that he was just too into the
scene that he lost track of everything else. This happens, and I was
very happy to help.
"The second time was at TES Fest. A dominant I did not know had his
partner's hands tied above her head for more than 15 minutes without
checking them. When he went to get a new toy, I quietly said,
"Excuse me, could you please check your partners hand for
circulation and coldness, please?" He looked a bit stunned, but
went over and checked. She was fine, and he later thanked me for saying
this to him. It boils down to often dominants get so involved in what
they are doing that they forget one small yet crucial detail or another.
So politely lending that other perspective in a tactful way can
definitely be challenging, but it is also definitely beneficial."
Sadie: You are also a co-moderator for the Dominants
Discussion Group in Albany. Generally speaking, what do you find are the
most common issues for Dominants?
Walt: "Generally speaking, I think the most common issues for
dominants are the feelings of being alone as a dominant and also having
a lack of support and other perspectives.
"Sir Ron and I developed the Dominants' Discussion Group in Albany
to address these issues, and we have worked hard to make the DDG a
safehaven for honest and frank discussion. At the DDG, we all share
experiences and perspectives, and this makes our community better on a
grass roots level."
Sadie: You were at the very first Albany BDSM munch. When was
that, and what
was it like? How would you say the community has changed, both locally
and nationally, since then?
Walt: "The first big Albany munch was held in a food court in a
local mall in April of '97, and more than 40 people attended. We sat at
tables in a circle, were welcomed, and then mingled. A small group left
for a restaurant when the mall closed, and we chatted until that
restaurant closed. We were all pretty much filled with a sense of awe
and were very grateful to have a chance to meet others in the lifestyle.
"New people coming into the community today have a similar awe.
Finding a BDSM group is like looking at the Grand Canyon for the first
time, so there has not been a change there."
"One major change on a national scale is the tremendous increase
and availability of BDSM information online and in book form. There are
more BDSM groups and more events. Pop culture today also has more fetish
elements in it.
"Locally, the prominent change has been in the expansion of options
and opportunities. The Albany BDSM community has changed immensely for
the better.
"When the Albany community started, it was close knit and secluded.
Ed Hall carried the Albany Stocks and Bonds group on his back, and while
he was exceptionally generous in opening up his home for parties and
other events, ASB represented a small scope of what BDSM and D/s is and
can be. While Albany had limited opportunities then, without the spark
from Ed and others back in the late 90's, the Albany BDSM community
might have fallen back underground. In the span of just a couple years,
the needs and desires of many in Albany changed. The evolution of the
Albany Community took place over several years as others took up
community leadership, and the result is today we have a plethora of
events, multiple educational opportunities and excellent contacts with
other BDSM groups throughout the country."
Sadie: Mayafire, who is the co-leader of Albany Power Exchange
(APeX), said that you are "one of the most safety minded Dominants
in the community and has helped many new Doms and subs find their way in
this lifestyle." How do you think that you got this reputation?
Walt: "That's a very nice compliment, but I have made more than a
couple mistakes. I try to be safety orientated to prevent making other
errors. Perhaps this reputation comes because I take responsibility for
my mistakes and I strive to learn from them. I also actively seek out
opportunities to learn and grow, and have gotten to know my own
limitations, and have learned to respect them.
"But I think I got this reputation because I am dedicated to
carrying on the tradition of giving back to the community. I have
organized or helped run educational events that others have benefited
from. And I will continue to organize and help worthwhile endeavors in
the future. I am also glad to share my opinions and what I know with
anyone else that is sincerely interested in BDSM and D/s."
Sadie: One of your popular articles, "Mistakes New Folks
Make," which is featured on the APeX website ( http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/BDSMinfo/new_folks.htm
) says that, "Just because someone calls themselves a Mistress or
Master, Goddess or Lord, Queen or Baron, does NOT necessarily mean that
they have the skills or talents to back it up. And, just because a
person has a "title" does not mean that you need to submit to
them."
Walt: "This is true. And I think many times we need to be reminded
that this is true. Thanks for bringing that up."
Sadie: How would you describe your BDSM orientation? Any
special interests?
Walt: "I am a well rounded dominant and a top. I am especially fond
of mindphucks, posture collars, the mental aspects of BDSM, challenging
myself and my partner, and things that lock."
Sadie: Would you say that you take a spiritual approach to
your play? If so, how?
Walt: "Yes I do, because BDSM completes me, and it resides in the
heart of my soul.
"One thing I learned early on was the importance of aesthetics. In
setting up for an encounter I usually listen to music, light candles,
adjust the lighting and burn incense to get into a nice frame of mind.
This also helps set the tone, and that tone is often carried into the
session. During a session I strive to read my partner, make a deeper
connection, and take them on an exciting journey."
Sadie: I understand that you also have plans for a BDSM
Exploratorium. What's that about?
Walt: "APeX has started a Welcome Wagon. Our goal is to give new
people coming into the scene or our community some very good basic
knowledge about BDSM and our group. The feedback I have gotten is that
this is exceptionally beneficial to newcomers. We plan to run this at
least quarterly, and I am definitely willing to give an impromptu one to
any new person if they want. Our plan is to have several educational
demos and presentations throughout the year, and eventually create a
hands on Exploratorium, so people can try out and learn about new or
different toys.
Sadie: In the past couple years you have organized several community
activities including several Singles' Mingles, Watch Your Mouth (a
weight loss contest), a community blood drive, and Share the Joy
(donations for the needy). What keeps you motivated?
Walt: "Community is about sharing. And I know that we all have
positive things to contribute to the community. I actively look for ways
to make things better, and then I put in the effort to make them better.
My motivation comes simply from knowing that there is a need and that I
am able to help make things better."
Sadie: You have also been active on a national level, serving
as staff at Black Rose for three years, working with the Leather
Leadership Conference VII and volunteering at the event, and helping out
at New England Leather Association (NELA) and TES events. What is your
goal in being involved in other groups?
Walt: "There are actually two goals. First, all events and programs
need staff or volunteers to help them run. So, if I can, I help out.
"The second goal is to gain experience. I try to learn as much as I
can from as many people as I can. And I strive to get as many
experiences as possible. A wonderful side effect from being active in
other groups is making good friends in other areas."
Sadie: Do you find that people are pretty much the same
whether in New York City or a smaller community like Albany, or are
there real differences in the way BDSM is carried out, both individually
and collectively?
Walt: "From my observations, people in each community, big or
small, are mostly the same. Each community is filled with a great
assortment of characters and temperaments, and no community escapes ups
and downs.
"The biggest difference between a big community like New York City
and a smaller one like Albany comes strictly from the amount of
opportunities each community offers.
New York City has a lot of opportunities, from TES and Dom/sub Friends
to several wonderful fetish stores, including Purple Passion, and
Paddles, a great club. These clubs, venue and stores exist because New
York City can support them. Another difference is that bigger cities
also tend to have more exceptionally skilled people in their community,
but I think that is a matter of simple math: a bigger base in community
will mean that there will be more exceptionally skilled members in that
community. So, really, the differences between smaller and larger
communities come strictly from the amount of members in them."
Sadie: Moving a little bit outside the BDSM realm, you write
"pithy" music reviews as part of your job managing a record
store. What is your favorite music?
Walt: "I love writing, and I try to be direct and focused in those
reviews. It helps me see the essence. And it helps sell the music. I
enjoy folk, outlaw country, indie rock, classic soul, power pop and
disco. And my tastes in 'scene music' run to techno pop, world, noize
and new age.
Sadie: Any favorites?
Walt: "Nanci Griffith, R.E.M. and Alejandro Escovedo for in the car
or to blast loud at home, and some of my favorite 'scene music' comes
from Jocelyn Pook, Loreena McKennit, Lords of Acid, and Butt Boy, a
fabulous musician I met at Black Rose 2001."
Sadie: Is there anything else you'd like to share with our
readers?
Walt: "Thank you for giving me this time to share a little bit
about myself, it was an honor."
Sadie: Thank you very much!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sensuous Sadie is the author of It's Not About the Whip: Love, Sex, and
Spirituality in the BDSM Scene ( http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html
). She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of Rose & Thorn,
Vermont's first BDSM group. Comments, compliments and complaints, as
well as requests for reprinting can be addressed to her at SensuousSadie@aol.com
or visit her website at www.sensuoussadie.com
. Sadie believes the universe is abundant, and that sharing information
freely is part of this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing
in most venues.
Copyright 2004 Sadie Sez Publications
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