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Sa'Kinah is Owned by
Master Coldsteel and is a practitioner of the Gorean Lifestyle.
sakinah@alurofmaine.org
ALURofMaine@hotmail.com
To Join our yahoo group is ALURevents-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
SENSUOUS SADIE: With the caveat
that you are not the poster child of the Gorean lifestyle, can you give
me a short description of the Gorean lifestyle, as it is described
formally in the books, and how that may or may not differ from your
individual practice?
Sa Kinah: "As with any lifestyle choice there are a thousand
different ways to live the Gorean lifestyle. There are, of course, some
basic principals that are put across in the books. These basic
principals are not filled with reality much of the time. For instance in
the books by John Norman, slaves can be killed. We all know that is
against the law here in the world of real people. Slaves on Gor have no
rights whatsoever. Here, at least in America, slavery is against the law
and all are guaranteed certain rights under the law. It is important to
understand these differences, especially if you are going to try to
follow a 'Gorean philosophy.' I am still very much a Gorean slave in
training. The realities of life often times slow this progress down and
gets in the way of being able to practice what I have learned. When
there is a child in the house, you can’t always serve your Master his
meal in the way that I was trained. It is only in rare cases when I can
kneel before him and present his dinner in a traditional Gorean
serve."
Sadie: In the continuum of Gorean
lifestyle people, where would you put yourself as regarding living it
real time versus just as role-playing?
Sa Kinah: "I view role-playing as a scene that has a beginning and
an ending time frame. That time period could be a few hours to a few
days. It is a time when the participants ‘step into’ a persona in
order to create a particular experience and/or atmosphere. Master and I
do not 'create' an experience we live it. It is there every day, it is
part of who we are, it is our lifestyle. Even though circumstances
don’t permit us to always be able to express who we are, he is still
Master and I am still his property."
Sadie: Some BDSM players have
issues with the Gorean lifestyle because it appears to not follow the
safe-sane-consensual creed in that a slave has basically no rights over
their body or their life. Is this correct, and if so, can you explain
how the lifestyle offers protection to its players.
Sa Kinah: "It is my belief that it is the people within the
alternative lifestyles are the ones who determine SSC, not the lifestyle
choice itself. In other words and unsafe dominant is an unsafe dominant
whether he lives the Gorean lifestyle or not. What people have to
realize is the works of John Norman were not meant to be a lifestyle to
live. He wrote the series for pleasurable reading. They are science
fiction. With that in mind, Safe-Sane-Consensual was never in his realm
of thinking when he was writing those books. In fact, the concept of SSC
didn’t even exist when the books were written. Even if the credo did
exist it wouldn’t have mattered because he was not writing the books
to be used as a lifestyle bible to be followed. It is the people who
practice the lifestyle that protect themselves, not the lifestyle."
Sadie: What is your response to
BDSM'ers who feel that living a lifestyle based on a series of books (of
which I have read the author does not support people actually living out
his stories in real life) is an artificial construct?
Sa Kinah: "I remember way back when I first visited a Gorean chat
room. My first response is these are a bunch of people living in a
fantasyland and they have no grip on reality at all. That was my first
reaction to what I was seeing. It was my second reaction and my third!
In fact, I continued to have these feelings for quite a long time. Yet,
something kept pulling me to those rooms. I hardly ever participated in
the chats I simply wanted to watch. Although I felt these people were
playing in a fantasyland there was something beautiful to be seen here.
There was for me a hidden message that I couldn’t quite put my finger
on. Something that drew me to the beautifully simple world of D/s and
the mental dance that takes place between a Master and his slave. The
Gorean lifestyle also intimidated me. I wanted to be a Gorean slave, but
I was afraid to let myself become ‘one of those people.’ My response
to others who feel I am one of those people living in a fantasyland is
simple. You have to go beyond the books; beyond the chat rooms and
beyond every preconceived notion you have ever had about this chosen
path of lifestyle to truly understand it. There is so much more to it
than crawling across a tavern in silks."
Sadie: What do you personally get
out of the lifestyle that makes it superior to a more traditional BDSM
arrangement?
Sa Kinah: "For me it is a state of mind. It is something more than
a bedroom game. It fulfills my need to be owned by someone. Could I get
that in a D/s relationship without the Gorean aspects? Probably, but Gor
brings to me a sense of formality, a constant learning ground, a way for
me to communicate with Master in an artistic way and a plain on which I
feel I truly connect with. Do I feel Gor is superior to other forms of
BDSM and D/s lifestyles? No, it is simply what works for our
relationship. It’s not for everyone. It is superior for me because it
meets the needs that I have."
Sadie: My understanding is that
once you become a slave, you are no longer free in any way, and have no
recourse of action to reverse this process. Accepting that this is true
in the Gorean lifestyle, how do you integrate that into our culture,
which does not allow citizens to legally give up their rights? (I.E. you
can't sign away your human rights even if you want to) if there are no
safe words, and no discussion about limits, what happens when a Gorean
master turns out to be unbalanced in some way and is abusive to his
partner? How do you negotiate a healthy relationship when your ability
to discuss limits is not on the table?
Sa Kinah: "What I am about to say relates to all forms of power
exchange not just the Gorean lifestyle. It is important to know your
partner well before you decide to enter into a power exchange with this
person. Limits and safe words should be discussed beforehand, not
after-the-fact. You need to determine if this is someone you can trust,
someone who you can literally lay your life in his or her hands.
Pertaining to the Gorean lifestyle and the slavery aspect of all of this
there is one thing that people tend to forget. Because I am a slave does
not mean I have absolutely no rights. What it does mean is I have the
rights my Master allows me to have. Master allows me to discuss issues
with him, as well as my feelings and fears. If he didn’t allow me to
discuss these things with him we would have no chance at all for a
healthy relationship. Even a Master/slave relationship requires
communication for it to flourish. The difference between our
relationship and a regular vanilla relationship when it comes to
communication is how these discussions take place. They are done with
respect and on his time frame, not mine. He allows me to do lots of
things. He allows me the privilege of sleeping in a bed, he allows me to
eat at the table, he allows me to have money. He does all of these
things because he is aware of the reality of life. Can those privileges
be taken away from me at any time? Sure! Through training I am learning
to appreciate these privileges he has given to me. What I like most
about our relationship is there are no games. I know what the rules are
and I don't have to guess. Master does not try to play head games which
is a huge factor in trust in any relationship in my opinion."
Sadie: Women are most likely to
be slaves because they are smaller and less physically adapted to
warfare. Why is it that physical prowess is more important than
intelligence as regarding whether a person is a slave or not?
Sa Kinah: "Intelligence is not the deciding factor, where the heart
lays is the deciding factor. Most slaves are very intelligent.
Intelligence makes a slave more valuable to their Master. We have to
keep in mind that the Gor books are equally about warriors and men
battling each other. These are not modern day battles. These are set
back in a setting almost equal to those during cave man days. These
battles take place when there is physical hand-to-hand combat and
physical power is important. Sending a woman to do the kind of battles
Norman created would probably mean her demise. What Norman created in
his books is what he considered a 'man’s world.' It is simply his
chosen path for his books and has very little to do with those that have
chosen to live this lifestyle."
Sadie: Male slaves make up a very
small percentage of the lifestyle. Are there female Dominants at all?
How do you feel about a structure that can appear sexist in the extreme
on the surface? How do you resolve this issue in your own mind?
Sa Kinah: "This is sort of a difficult question to answer when
putting it in the light of the novels. D/s was never the premise of
Norman’s novels. It is a fantasy world that Norman created for men.
This fantasy includes the fact that men protect and battle for their
property and home stone and the slaves are there to care for them and
fulfill their wishes. Great fantasy huh? Some of these things you can
carry over into a lifestyle, some you can’t. There are free-women on
Gor and they do have slaves. However, within the infrastructure that
Norman created these women are still considered merely women and can be
over powered at any time. Men are the rulers of Gor plain and simple. Is
it sexist? You bet it is. Living the Gorean lifestyle is not for women
who have a dominant personality if you are choosing to live it in
respect to the books. My resolve in this is simple. If you are a
dominant woman and you are choosing to live the Gorean lifestyle, then
you will be open to scrutiny. I have no problem with dominant women that
choose to lead this lifestyle because for me it is more about mind-set
than what Norman wrote in his books."
Sadie: The novels state that
while less than 3% of Goreans own a slave, slavery is very prominent in
the novels and in fact often nonconsensual. A woman can be kidnapped and
forcefully collared. Aside from using this idea in your BDSM
relationship, how do you feel about this as an actuality?
Sa Kinah: "Using this philosophy in real life would be
preposterous. I can’t say it has never been done before, but it is not
something I would support in any way shape or form. In my opinion, when
referring to slavery in the BDSM & Gorean lifestyles, it has to be
consensual. A slave must be willing to please his/her Master. That is
something that can’t be forced. Sure, you can kidnap someone
(illegally) and forcefully collar them, but do they truly have the heart
of a slave? Most likely not, they must come to this state of mind on
their own. What the Master can do is to cultivate that slave and make
them their slave."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Sadie: Please tell me about your
position with ALU, and how it got started.
Sa Kinah: "ALU got started with the idea of uniting people involved
in any alternative lifestyle. We felt a need within the community here
in Maine for something a bit less formal and more social. Education is a
wonderful thing and I support those who want to educate others as much
as I support those who seek it. What we were looking for and felt the
community needed was a place for other like-minded individuals was a
place to kick back and relax and socialize. In the creation of ALU we
decided to create ALUR, Inc. ALUR, Inc has the specific goal of
providing retreats for alternative lifestylers. So far, ALUR, Inc. has
held one retreat with the plans of having several more. In fact, we are
having our next retreat in a few weeks. It has been a wonderful
experience to be able to provide such a place locally here in New
England. My position with the organization is publicity. It’s my job
to get the word out about the organization and the events it holds. I
don’t do this alone though. There is a lot of behind the scenes work
that is done by everyone in ALU/ALUR, Inc."
Sadie: How has your leadership
position affected your personal practice of BDSM?
Sa Kinah: "Master and I are both part of the group that founded ALU/ALUR,
Inc. For the most part we do not discuss the organizational issues and
try to keep it separate from our relationship. We do this for a couple
of reasons. One of the major reasons is because when we are at
shareholder meetings or meetings where we are making some major
decisions, for me to be effective I need to be able to speak in a
business forum rather than the traditional way of a slave or submissive.
In other words, this is business and has nothing to do with our
relationship. Otherwise, business could start to interfere with our
relationship and we certainly do not want our relationship to interfere
with good business. If either of these things were to start to happen I
would have to resign my position in ALUR, Inc. Our relationship comes
first and foremost."
Sadie: What are your hopes for
ALU in the next five years?
Sa Kinah: "My hopes for ALU in the next five years is simple. I
would hope that we can continue to provide a safe, relaxed atmosphere
for people to meet others. The ultimate dream is of course to own our
place to do this in. Who knows, it just may come true. J
Sadie: You've been working on a
BDSM cookbook. How is that project going?
Sa Kinah: "Ah, the cookbook. This is a very slow process! This
project is something I see taking more than just a few months to
complete. I have received many recipes so far and I am still collecting
them. If anyone has a recipe they would like to be included in this book
please send them to me at sa_kinah@hotmail.com
Sadie: Is there anything you'd
like to add that might interest our readers?
Sa Kinah: "I’d like to add that there are so many people that aid
in the progress of ALU and ALUR, Inc. It has been a most wonderful
experience getting to know new people. I’ve learned so much from the
people I’ve met as a result of being a group leader and hope to
continue to learn and meet new people. ALU and ALUR, Inc. are a result
of a lot of careful planning and consideration. We meet every third
Saturday of the month at Rockin’ Robbin’s at the Promenade Mall in
Lewiston, Maine from 4-6 PM. We welcome everyone in any alternative
lifestyle as well as those who are just curious. It’s about meeting
others, growing with others and simply having a good time."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SOME GOREAN LIFESTYLE REFERENCES
http://www.silkandsteel.com/
http://gornews.thenewmatrix.net/
http://anzwers.net/hot/Gorean/home.html
http://www.goreanwhispers.com/
http://slaveheart.0catch.com/welcome.html
http://www.bdsmrealm.net/article.php?sid=33
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/8365/tuchindex.html
ALTERNATIVE
LIFESTYLES UNITED - ALU/ALUR
aluorg@yahoo.com
P.O. Box 8012
Lewiston, Maine 04243-8012
ALU meets every third Saturday of the month at Augustine's in Lewiston
Maine. This is a social group for people of alternative lifestyles who
wish to unite and meet others.
~~~
Sensuous
Sadie is the author of It's Not
About the Whip: Love, Sex, and Spirituality in the BDSM Scene (http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html).
She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of
Rose
&
Thorn
,
Vermont
's first BDSM group.
Comments, compliments and complaints, as well as requests for reprinting
can be addressed to her at SensuousSadie@aol.com
or visit her website at www.sensuoussadie.com. Sadie believes the universe is abundant, and that sharing information
freely is part of this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing
in most venues.
Copyright
2003 Sadie Sez Publications
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