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More photos after interview
msheartsf@att.net
http://www.mistressheartsf.com
www.mistressheartsf.com/WOC.html
SENSUOUS SADIE: Let's start with your name. Why Ms. Heart?
Ms. Heart: "It is short for my Native American Spiritual Name.
The name fit because I bring my heart into BDSM. I bring my African,
Native American (Cherokee Nation) and Irish ancestry, my spirit, and my
social justice advocacy to it. The name is great because I can have an
instant trademark/logo. I collect rock hearts from my spiritual retreats
that I have attended throughout California and Palm Springs.
Sadie: You describe your style of dominating as elegant, exquisite,
and artistic. These are unusual words for a domina considering that so
many use words that indicate how ruthless they are? Why do you emphasize
this side of yourself?
Ms. Heart: "There is nothing 'usual' about BDSM so why not be
yourself in BDSM? This is the perfect place to offer yourself and claim
it! There are so many, many styles of domination. I realize some people
are not familiar with individual dommes/doms or BDSM, will default to
the stereotypical version of domination. These assumptions usually are
that BDSM is ONLY about 'pain and being mean.' Nothing could be further
from the truth! Every domme/dom that I have met in the Bay Area has a
unique personal style, belief system and brings that to her/his style of
play. DIVERSITY in personal domination and styles are endless and can
range from Sensual (non sexual) Domination thru Corporal Domination. I
just wish that perspective subs would do their homework as well as read
our websites so they can be more informed before they take the leap.
"I have done a great deal of personal self-examination and I choose
to bring myself to BDSM and that is exactly what the sub will get. Also,
that is why I am very picky about who I wish to engage with. The energy
must be right, referrals must check out, and if the person does not
connect with my style then we are not a fit. I will not play with subs
if I don't feel that the exchange will be beneficial. Also, if we are
not a play-style fit, then I won't play; I will refer them to another
pro-domme/dom. I get high on high quality play and when the sub is
willing to submit, exchange energy with me and or be trained."
Sadie: How long have you been involved in the BDSM scene? Please tell
me a little bit about your background and experience.
Ms. Heart: "In 2000 a former partner 'Sensei Steel Reza'
officially introduced me to the BDSM & the scene in the Bay Area. He
was more experienced than myself and very spiritually savvy and we
decided use BDSM as a form exploring our relationship and dealing with
deep seeded issues that needed to come to the surface. I then started
doing my homework and attended several orientations at two well know
groups that provided a safe place to begin the education and networking
process. Shortly after that I started taking classes, attending munches,
volunteering at play parties/events, attending BDSM private and public
events, connected with several local well-respected BDSM educators,
Munch Groups and The 'San Francisco Citadel' http://www.sfcitadel.org/
dungeon where I volunteer.
"I am a former dancer, body builder and have been creating art
since I was a kid. Additionally, I am an experienced professional model
and have done so since I was in high school. I was the recent featured
website model for well-known Bay Area Photographer, 'Larry Utley' http://www.larryutley.com.
My first 22 minute video was released in 2004 for 'Men in Pain' http://www.meninpain.com.
I also modeled for the 'Two Knotty Boys' http://www.knottyboys.com
for one of their classes and will be in their upcoming book that is
scheduled to be published next year. I participated in a photography and
Model panel workshop put on the 'Society of Janis' http://www.soj.org
in 2002. Also, I bring a vast knowledge in the areas of a committed
spiritual practice, art, poetry, intense personal self-examination and
continued education and professional community involvements and social
activism."
Sadie: You do some diversity education as it relates to BDSM. What
are some of the topics you cover?
Ms. Heart: "My Current Diversity education project is: 'The
Women of Color BDSM Photo Project.' As a Woman of Color, I have been
questioning, 'why is it that when I am out in the community, at events,
play parties, in the images I see portrayed on web sites and BDSM
printed media etc., there are not very many people like me out there? I
know that the wealth of ethnic diversity this area has to offer is quite
outstanding, so where are all those people in our BDSM world?
"As I started discussions with the few other Women of Color I know
in this arena, it became clear to me that there is a higher level of
discomfort that has to be overcome before feeling 'safe' in being out.
If people feel that they are the 'only one', then it takes a lot more
courage to overcome that and present oneself naked (metaphorically
speaking), in the community.
"If the majority of what we see isn't like us, then it takes a lot
more to convince us to 'come out to play.'
"I realize that I can't change the world overnight, so Andy Morgan
and I organized a community input meeting on May 7th, 2004. Everyone's
input was quite invaluable and helped me gain clarity and properly
articulate the vision. Thank you everyone who contributed. I value
diversity enough to know I'd like to find a way to attract more Women of
Color into our world, so I am attempting to come at the issue from an
initial approach that may also interest you.
"I have a personal interest in Photography: On the modeling side
actually. And I like being depicted in ways that show my strength, my
body, my sensuality, and my intellect as a strong-minded Woman of Color.
I have been working closely with a good friend of mine (and Fetish
Photographer) by the name of Andrew Morgan. Together we have discussed
this issue and come to the conclusion that there are very few images
anywhere to be seen that depict Women of Color actively engaged in the
BDSM scene.
"So together we have started a project, which we call the Women Of
Color BDSM Photo Project. The goal is making, and proliferation of high
quality photography of Women of Color: and depict them in interesting
and artistic ways. We would like there to be more images available in
the community that can be used to promote the concept of ethnic
diversity, and encourage more Women of Color to emerge.
"Andrew Morgan graciously donated his time, expertise, and photo
studio, to undertake our first photo shoots. Because of his personal
love of diversity, he wishes to continue playing a pivotal part in this
project.
"Our first panel Panel/discussion and Photo display by will be at
The San Francisco Citadel.
Photo Exhibition: Andrew Morgan, Michael Blue and Shilo McCabe plus a
guest photographer TBA.
Moderated by Ms. Shadiva Black
Panelists: BC, Ms. Selina Raven, Empress Rae, Morningstar, Andrew
Morgan, Michael Blue and Shilo McCabe
Sat. July 31,2004
2:00 - 4:00 pm
Panel and Play Party 8:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m. Open to ALL
Cost: $20- panel, $20- play party or $30 for both
For more information: http://www.mistressheartsf.com/WOC.html
MISSION STATEMENT: The mission of the Bay Area Women of Color BDSM Photo
Project is to expand the aesthetic and cultural perception of the BDSM
community by promoting artistically tasteful photographic images of
Women of Color in BDSM.
OUR VISION: We are bringing Women of Color together with photographers
to facilitate the creation of images that demonstrate our strength,
beauty and diversity.
"Woman of Color in the BDSM community are not coming forward for a
variety of reasons, but chief amongst these is the fact that the images
most commonly presented are of people unlike themselves. If Women of
Color could see other Women of Color participating and playing, they
would feel included and acknowledged. This is an essential element in
outreach for the BDSM community.
"Images have the power to shape our consciousness. These images
will represent diversity within our community and demonstrate our
lifestyle in a positive and exciting manner.
"By encouraging and facilitating the interest and participation of
photographers there will be a higher quantity of high quality images of
Women of Color represented in alternative media and art."
Sadie: I know this is a delicate subject, but I'd like
to ask you a little bit about being a woman of color, and particular a
Domina in the scene. Have you found that being African American has been
an advantage or disadvantage to you?
Ms. Heart: "This is not a 'delicate' subject for me nor is it
'delicate' for the people all over America who are reporting and talking
about the 'Brown vs. Board of Education's' 50th Anniversary. The May 17,
1954 landmark Supreme Court decision was supposed to end 'school
segregation/separate but equal education' is yet to be realized in
America. A dream deferred! I just listened and saw reports on national,
local and public wires exposing segregated school in California and in
the Bay Area. So racism and lack of equal opportunity are still very
alive in American and in our schools.
"I deal with life and race issues in America straight up and in a
healthy manner. I am not afraid of healthy dialogue and solutions. My
ancestral bloodlines are African, Native American (Cherokee Nation) and
Irish, so I always check all three boxes on those silly governmental
forms. I must acknowledge all of who I am; my ancestors would come after
me if I did not! As a Women of Color, I may not always get the types of
subs that I really like or an open reception from the larger community.
I have to prove myself more than most white dommes/doms as well in the
vanilla world. In the Bay Area, that larger BDSM and vanilla community
is primarily white. There is also the factor of racism in the scene.
(Some people in the Bay Area seem to think that this is not an issue but
it is.) Sometimes people bring their brand racism with them People are
at times surprised that I know what I know and have the type of
education that I do. I've had some folks say some really insane stuff to
me about race, and culture etc. in the scene. So I just have to realize
racism is a part of this American Culture/History and no matter what
fringe groups I connect with, people bring their stuff/assumptions with
them. I do work hard to bring a level of insight and education to the
scene.
"One of the advantages of being a Person of Color is that I have an
intimate understanding, information and diverse perspective for having
lived and worked in the dominant culture in American. I have had to
assimilate and understand that world. (It is almost like having a split
personality but with understanding.) I try promoting diversity when ears
and eyes are open to it. I have participated in a PHD's Psychology
Thesis Dissertation paper and education video project. The project is
now being presented locally and all over the country as a teaching tool
for mental health professionals to learn about BDSM and effectively
treat their clients. Our focus was BDSM, Spirituality and being a Person
of Color. (The DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Health) has in the past considered the practice of BDSM abhorrent
behavior.) I am currently in negotiations with a PHD Professor of
Sexuality at a local University to be a part of a study paper/teaching
tool/book for the class, which focuses on People of Color and
alternative lifestyles/sexuality. Additionally, I have successfully
provided some diversity guidelines to a prominent BDSM group and I was a
demo model for Fetish Diva Midori, an internationally known, writer/sex
educator, http://www.fetishdiva.com/html/home.html
, for a class she conducted on race, spirituality and healing."
Sadie: You have a Condom Greeting Card project. Can you please tell
me about that?
Ms. Heart: "The 'Condom Art-Card Project was inspired by a
personal suggestion from my former mentor, Sensei Steel Reza. This
suggestion gave me a way to heal from losing many creative friends to
AIDS. I saw that these cards would present healing possibilities for
others as they find ways to educate ('Edu-tainment') people about AIDS
and AIDS prevention. I design, assemble and sign each card personally. I
also donate a great deal of the cards to various benefits or fundraisers
around the City. Fifty percent of all her proceeds are donated to an
East Bay Aids organization."
You can buy the cards at:
1. San Francisco Citadel, San Francisco, CA 415-626-1746
http://www.sfcitadel.com
Sadie: You said in an interview once that you integrated some
traditions of Christianity into a scene to help a Submissive work
through their personal issues. How do you manage the complexities of
using BDSM as a therapy, particularly when it includes such weighty
subjects as religion?
Ms. Heart: "This was a rare instance. This particular sub was a
PH.D Psychology candidate. Given by psychology/mental health training we
agreed to do this scene. He felt safe with me because my woman/healer
spirit, my peer-counseling credentials, and my additional continuing
education classes. It is very critical to offer 'After Care' and
follow-up. He had is own therapist to check in with as well. I will only
do these scenes with subs that that I have gotten to know a bit and or
have previous experience with this type of domination/submission. Most
of the time most people don't want to delve into these heavy issues
during play (it is about .5% of the people that I have encountered over
my 4.5 years) because it take lots of training, work and
aftercare."
Sadie: There are probably a lot of misconceptions about being a Pro
Dominant, the most common being that Pro Dommes are prostitutes. Can you
give me a quick explanation about how these two careers differ, and how
that affects you as a professional?
Ms. Heart: "It is quite simple. Escorts/Prostitutes or Full
Service BDSM (FSBDSM) providers exchanges money for direct sexual
activities/contact. What I do is about POWER EXCHANGE, community
education and 'Safe, Sane and Consensual' play without sex."
Sadie: How do you manage clients who do want sexual
contact? Is this a common expectation, or do most people "get
it" from reading the website?
Ms. Heart: "I make it clear on my website
in several places that this is professional Modeling - BDSM Domination
not prostitution or an escort service. This is posted on every page and
on my Activities page. If they are looking for sexual contact, someone
to do a pornography movie/photography or a personal girlfriend
relationship I tell them that I don't offer that and tell them to search
for an escort/model that provides FSBDSM or pornography modeling."
Sadie: What is it that you think draws so many people
to a professional domme? What are the most common fantasies that they
are unable to fulfill with other partners?
Ms. Heart: "I can only speak for myself here. I really don't know
what draws other people to the underground profession of becoming an
independent pro-domme/dom. I love BDSM as an addition to my very busy
diverse life, but a great deal of work goes into Pro-Domination it that
is unseen or even understood. To someone looking in from the outside, it
looks easy and glamorous ALL the time, but that is not always the case.
Oh, let me start with the unglamorous behind the scene details: A
sincere personal interest in people must be there, the personal
experiences and training, the developing of your own style and lots of
time just to even think about becoming professional. Then there is being
mentored and being taught the tools of the trade etc. As for an initial
investment: Rent, websites, immunizations, cell phones, computer, rent,
Dungeon rentals, community events, clothes, shoes, make-up, personal
trainers, photo shoots, yearly photo updates, toys, equipment,
wank-calls, no-shows and legal protection. (All of the little money I
make is already spent on either advertising or clothes etc. or
reinvesting it back into my personal BDSM community projects.)
"It is misunderstood, hard work, risky at times, has stigma in most
vanilla circles and expensive, but I love it, so that is why I do it. If
you are going to offer quality you really have to keep yourself
networked, educated on the current trends and continue to update your
skills. I don't know any rich dommes/doms and most pro-domme/doms in the
Bay Area that I know use BDSM as an augmentation to their other incomes.
Some model (money is minimal), barter for goods & services, teach,
write books and are educators. I only know two dommes/doms that do this
75%-100% of their time. The 'burnout' rate is high. So that is why I am
very selective and session when it is absolutely right for me.
"As far as common fantasies with a partner, well most subs don't
even tell their vanilla partners that they do this. So nothing can be
fulfilled. My executive subs just want to have someone like me tell them
what to do because they are always in the giving orders in their
work/personal lives. They like the idea of a commanding woman that has
power over them. But my interest as a pro-model/domme is to affect
educational change in the BDSM world though my personal advocacy with my
Condom Card Project and the Bay Area Women of Color BDSM Photo Project.
The only way to do this is to have access to income to pay for the
community projects that I initiate, volunteers to help and to support
the other BDSM professional that are doing the same."
Sadie: You work with both men and women. What
differences do you find overall in their approach to submission?
Ms. Heart: "In my experience there has
been no difference in submission. The only difference is the gender
energy. Men, women and pan-sexuals are all individuals so that is what I
connect with. I regard any form of submission as an honor and gift. I
treasure it and I am blessed by this act of trust. A 'Trust Walk' of
sorts: I am responsible for someone else's, safety, emotional well-being
and life during our time together."
Sadie: How did your approach to BDSM change over time
you've been exploring this side of your sexuality?
Ms. Heart: "I specialize is POWER
EXCHANGE Artistic & Elegant BDSM. So my pro-exploration has been
about that side of BDSM as well as more modeling jobs. On the other
hand, exploring BDSM with an intimate partner opened up a whole new
world for me. Even with my intimate partner, I preferred to downplay the
sexual side. I really gravitated to the understanding of POWER EXCHANGE.
Mixing sexual acts with BDSM was to confusing for me. Stimulation
overload! For me, the two energies were different and really needed to
be explored separately."
Sadie: Thank you very much
for chatting with me!
See
more fabulous photos of Mistress Heart by Photographer Andrew Morgan
Plus
more by Larry Utley
Plus
new photographs by Jeff Compasso
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you enjoyed this interview, read more SCENEprofiles with BDSM
personalities on Sadie's website at www.sensuoussadie.com
Sensuous Sadie is the author of It's Not About the Whip: Love, Sex,
and Spirituality in the BDSM Scene. Read an excerpt at http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html
. She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of Rose & Thorn,
Vermont's first BDSM group. Comments, compliments and complaints, as
well as requests for reprinting can be addressed to her at SensuousSadie@aol.com
or visit her website at www.sensuoussadie.com
. Sadie believes the universe is abundant, and that sharing information
freely is part of this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing
in most venues.
Copyright 2004 Sadie Sez Publications
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