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SCENEprofiles Interview with
HizAngel |
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hizangel_BB@ds-newhampshire.org http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Ds-ewHampshire SENSUOUS SADIE: Your group believes in educating the vanilla community about what we do. This being a hot issue right now, I'm interested in how you came to this decision? ANGEL: "Let me first say, this is a hot issue now, but we formed our group over 2-1/2 years ago, when all things related to BDSM weren't under as intensity scrutiny as they seem to be now. Master and I had helped another group in the greater Boston area start a munch, so we were familiar with how it worked. We visited other munches in the New England area, and talked to their group leaders. The original three founders of our group were talking one night, and wanted badly to start a group in southern NH, to meet someplace other than a mall, and educate the public at large about who and what we are, but we knew we needed to start small. We asked five other kinksters we trusted to form a core group, and named ourselves Ds-NewHampshire. We met in our home every two weeks, hashing out what we wanted, and how to go about achieving it. "Our first priority was to find a restaurant to meet at; we were all weary of munches at the mall, competing with screaming children, giggling teens, and stressed out parents. We wanted to be able to talk freely, without worrying about who was around us. We founded DSNH because we wanted some place closer than the greater Boston area to get together with our kinky friends. Southern NH seemed ripe for what we wanted to do. After kissing a few frogs, we found a home at WhipperSnappers Restaurant in Londonderry, NH. We began educating the public by being honest with the management of the restaurant about who we were, what we were looking for, and asked if they could meet our needs. They seemed very comfortable with our honesty, and our presence wasn't a threat to them. "We meet in an open area away from the rest of their customers...and have a waitress every month who knows the regulars by name. She knows who we are and what we do, and is very comfortable around us. We're very welcome there every month, and I know that they look forward to our visits, as we liven the place up. That is how we're achieving our goal of educating the public. Its a small contribution, but one that works for us. Perhaps in time, we'll take a more active role...but for now, just meeting monthly for the munch is enough for us. When members let us know they want more, we'll discuss it." Sadie: How do you go about educating the larger community? What kind of challenges have been particularly difficult? Angel: "We haven't taken on the challenge of educating the larger community, other than where we meet. It hasn't been a problem so far, as we've always been honest about being an alternative lifestyle group. We either get dead silence when we state who we are...or an open-minded person willing to at least give us a chance. Its been very refreshing." Sadie: You openly publish the location of your monthly munch. What is your response to scene players who feel that this puts guests at unnecessary risk by people who might go there as "looky-loos?" Angel: "Our munch is open to anyone 21+ interested in BDSM. It's not open to the public. We advertise on a scene-friendly list, and on BDSM-themed websites. There is risk in attending a munch of being seen by vanilla friends, but that is a risk people are well aware of, and a risk they are willing to take. We are not putting them in harms way, as we meet in an area where you have to be 21+ to gain admittance, and are nowhere near young children or families. We don't have any kink-related demonstrations, or fetish dress allowed, so it simply looks like a bunch of friends meeting over lunch. Sadie: You refer to the standard safewords of red, yellow, green and blue on your website and the fact that if players are using other safewords the dungeon master should be told. Do you regularly schedule play parties in addition to your munches? Are there any "real" dungeons in New Hampshire? Angel: "We schedule occasional play parties, when the opportunity presents itself. We are mainly a munch group, but if people in our group are willing to host a play party, we are happy to oblige. By 'real' dungeons in New Hampshire, if you mean as in a business, I'm not aware of any. However, I know there are many homemade dungeons in personal homes that are well used." Sadie: How have you observed the New Hampshire community changing over the last decade, and also since most of the groups came to be? What role do you feel that your group plays in developing a BDSM community? Angel: "I've watched all of New Hampshire explode into a thriving community. Over the past few years, I've taken notice of the fact that where there were once only a very few choices on where to meet like-minded people, there is now a vast selection of activities and groups to turn to for socialization and support. There are not only munches, but play groups, demonstrations, and get-togethers from far southern New Hampshire, to the White Mountain region and beyond. There were a lot of new munch groups that started during a boom about the same time we started, but a lot of them faltered; others have flourished and grown, painfully slowly, but they are now thriving. I think what Ds-NewHampshire has to offer, that perhaps other larger groups don't have, is a close-knit group. We make a point of welcoming all newcomers, making sure they feel welcome, and take a sincere interest in them. I've heard a lot of people comment on how warm and friendly we are, and I know it's because we go the extra mile to ensure everyone feels a part of the group. It seems to be working." Sadie: Please tell me about D/s-NH and what you offer. Angel: "Ds-NewHampshire is a 21+ munch group that meets the 2nd Saturday of each month, offering a safe, warm and friendly environment for other like-minded adults to share lunch, socialize and get support. We discuss issues of concern to us, whether related to BDSM or our personal lives. We have occasional special functions, such as the annual BBQ, Christmas party, and the occasional play party. We also have a thriving online list group, with well over 200 members, which we use to keep in touch between munch meetings. The list group keeps everyone informed of what is going on in the New Hampshire and New England community, and offers a forum for discussions of whatever subject suits you." Sadie: What was it that drew you into being a BDSM group leader? Angel: "Master and I helped another couple to get a munch group and online chat room started. We knew we wanted one in our area, and since there was nothing local that met our needs, we were willing to take the next step, by starting our own group. It was something we knew we would enjoy, and wanted to devote our time to. " Sadie: What is your approach to interaction with other leaders? How would you characterize the community of New England leaders? Angel: "We welcome interaction with other group leaders, as we feel who better to turn to for advice than another group leader. Our feeling is, if we don't support each other, we fall together. I would like to think we have a good rapport with other group leaders, and make it a point to attend any group leader functions we can possibly get to. I see the community of leaders as very cooperative generally, with some fractured groups not working well with others, but overall, the community is growing together very nicely." Sadie: Have you found that your own leadership has changed how you practice BDSM on a personal level? Angel: "I find that I'm much more aware of how we play, and Master makes sure we practice safe, sane and consensual play. How can one espouse SSC, and not practice what they preach? Kind of like someone making a sales pitch for a product, without believing in what they're selling. It's the same concept. Sadie: Considering that there are multiple munches and groups in New Hampshire, how do you work to keep a cohesive vision? Angel: "Everyone involved with the running of DSNH works together well. The core members talk privately between munches, through chat, email and phone to keep the lines of communication open. If there is a problem with the group, something going on, or a misunderstanding, the core members are not afraid to voice their opinion, even if its not popular. We hash out any problems we run up against. It's a very democratic group, with everyone's vote counting. If a group consensus cannot be reached, Master and I make the final decision. It seems to work well, as everyone feels his or her voice is heard, and the final group vote is what we go with. Sadie: What have been the biggest challenges you've faced as a group leader? Angel: "The biggest challenge as a group leader has been trying to get help planning and organizing functions. The core members have been a great help with keeping the list group active, welcoming new members, running the munch, hosting for Master and I if we can't attend, supporting and help plan our annual BBQ and Christmas party, but with the larger events that we'd like to plan and host, it takes more than two or three of us to do the work. What I've found is that many people give lip service when asked if they'd be willing to help organize an event, but when the actual time comes, most don't honor their commitment, even after saying they're happy to help out. It's very frustrating to want to give back to the BDSM community, but have one's hands tied, unable to achieve these goals. DSNH would love to expand, and do it slowly, but until we tap into a source of willing participants, we're limited on what we can do. Sadie: Please tell me about your own BDSM orientation and practice. Angel: "I discovered BDSM online, being introduced to it through my first Dominant. I immediately felt at home, and knew I had found the missing puzzle piece that is me when I found BDSM. I took to it like a fish to water, and I read everything I could get my hands on, talking incessantly to lifestylers about my newfound desires. I met MasterBB about three years later, and we were both very new to this, but very interested in exploring together. Master collared me two years later. It has been wonderful, frustrating, and all I hoped it would be. We married a few years after meeting, and continue to learn and grow in the lifestyle together. Sadie: Do you remember the first time when you grooved on the power exchange? What was your reaction to this? Angel: "I remember it vividly, and was amazed at the intensity of it. I had always figured the power exchange was something that was earth shattering, and some sort of light would shine on me so I'd know it was happening. I laugh when I look back now, but it wasn't quite that dramatic. Master and I had just met that day. He was standing in my kitchen when I asked him if he'd like something to eat. I happened to be on my knees (Hmmmm...an act of submission on my part?) retrieving something from the lower shelf of my refrigerator. He caught my eyes as I looked up at him, and locked in on them. It felt like he could see into my very soul. I felt very vulnerable, afraid, but exhilarated at the same time. I had never experienced anything like it before. Sadie: Do you integrate spiritual practices into your play? If so, how? Angel: "Perhaps if lighting candles could be considered spiritual, then yes we do. We do have a spiritual connection with each other, knowing each other as well as we do. Sadie: Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler?" or do you still have intimate relationships in the vanilla sector? Angel: "Yes, I consider myself a lifestyler. I have no intimate relationships other than with Master, my Husdom. Sadie: How has your BDSM play changed over time? Angel: "My play has gone from a nervous, giggling submissive who jumped when touched, and was fearful of everything, to one who welcomes and loves any kind of BDSM interaction, from a pinch to a hard slap, or a scene involving pain and humiliation. Sadie: What do you look for in a partner? Angel: "I look for one who is control of themself first, is honest to a fault, and communicates well. Sadie: What a cool website you have with the trailing bubbles. Who is your webdesigner? Angel: "The trailing bubbles was a passing fancy, and is no longer on the site. I like changing the look of the site by adding new things, moving them around, or finding new links to add to the site. I designed the website myself, actually I was thrown into it, and had a crash course in web design, HTML, web hosts and registrars. It's been a challenge, but one I've enjoyed. Sadie: Is there anything else you'd like to share with our readers? Angel: "Thank you for taking the time to check out the website, and for your interesting and thought-provoking questions Sadie. It's been a pleasure chatting with you. Sadie: Thank you for speaking with me! ~~~~~~~~~~~~
D/S-NEWHAMPSHIRE MUNCH hizangel_BB@ds-newhampshire.org Held in Londonderry - Second Saturday of each month, 11:30 AM to 3:00 PM, at WhipperSnappers restaurant on Route 102 in Londonderry, NH. Hosted by the founders of the #D/s-NewHampshire IRC channel on irc.bondage.com For details, subscribe to the e-mail list at: Ds-NewHampshire-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Ds-ewHampshire
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sensuous
Sadie is the author of It's Not
About the Whip: Love, Sex, and Spirituality in the BDSM Scene (http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html).
She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of Copyright 2003 Sadie Sez Publications
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