Mini SCENEprofiles Interview 
with Hardy Haberman, Writer 

BlkLthrJkt@aol.com 

HARDY: "I guess the first time I really took my Higher Power to heart was when I first began attending a 12-step group. I had pretty much reached the end of my rope as far as self reliance and was really ready to let go and foillow a power greater than myself."

H: "I was raised in a Jewish/Christian household, though essentially Jewish upbringing. I attended a reform Temple and even made it to my Bar Mitzvah. I had an inkling of what God was and a little understanding of spirituality. The best thing I got from that experience was exposure to a really great theologian and Rabbi. He was a real firebrand for social justice and civil rights. At that time, the Jewish community was very much behind the Civil Rights movement of the 50's and 60's."

H: "I had some idea that my SM play connected me to something greater than just the person I was playing with. The good scenes trancended anything I had known until then, but I didn't connect it with my spirituality at first. I suppose I was still trying to seperate my sexuality from my spirituality. That changed once I found a group of leathermen who were active in the Metropolitan Community Church. They embraced their sexuality as a part of their spirit and spirituality. It made quite an impression on me."

H: "That's a hard one. It really is beyond description. As a Top, I find myself connecting with my bottom so closely that I know what he or she is feeling. And yet I am seperate from them as well. It is almost euphoria, but still grounded in reality. When a scene is really working, me and my bottom are apart from anyone else in the dungeon. We are in a bubble, visible to others but not really aware of them."

H: "For me, the physical SM acts are the door to that special place. They kindle the fire. The contact, the power exchange, that's what makes it happen. I meditate, but not as part of a scene, that is for me alone."

H: "I love ritual. It provides a framework to hang the whole experience on. However, I don;t have any specific ritual I perform. I approach each scene as a ritual unto itself. Each one different and unique, otherwise I would begin to fall into too much of a pattern."

H: "All of this has helped solidify my wholeness. By embracing the entirity of my life, I get a tremendous benifit. I live more fully and have discarded most of my masks. I have begun living more in the present, as well."

H: "My growth spiritually has enhanced all aspects of my life. My BDSM only gets better, as I learn to open myself to the power and experiences that take place during a scene. I find the connection between me, my bottom and the whole universe really becomes palpable now."

H: "I guess I am attracted to players who exhibit an understanding of the deeper levels of BDSM. I like to know someone for a while before playing with them. That way I know if we are going to really mesh in our play. My life partner and boy is a perfect example. After seven years, we have become best friends, lovers, confidants and councilors. Our bond makes our play, no matter what level it is, deeper and more meaningful."

H: "I have been writing for many years. Writing is simultaneously one of the most painful and pleasurable activities I can do. So, I guess that combination of pain and pleasure makes it sort of like SM play. It hurts, but not permanently, and afterword the adrenaline rush is amazing!"

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Sensuous Sadie is the author of It's Not About the Whip: Love, Sex, and Spirituality in the BDSM Scene (http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html). She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of Rose & Thorn , Vermont 's first BDSM group. Comments, compliments and complaints, as well as requests for reprinting can be addressed to her at SensuousSadie@aol.com  or visit her website at www.sensuoussadie.com. Sadie believes the universe is abundant, and that sharing information freely is part of this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing in most venues.

Copyright 2003 Sadie Sez Publications