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More photos after Interview
Griffin is also an energy worker and shamanistic sound healer.
SPECIAL NOTE: Sadly, in 2004 Griffin
apparently left the
BDSM scene. Despite
this, I believe what he has to say still holds true. ~ Sadie
Read Sadie's Columns about her
experiences with Griffin. They're in the "My Travels with
Griffin" section.
SADIE: I don't want to identify you primarily by your relationship
with me, but I do want to talk to you about that. So let's do that
first, and then we'll move on to your personal approach to the
lifestyle. In December of 2002, I published my "Letter to
Santa" that included this line, "Santa, I dream of a Dominant
of my own. He is intelligent and creative, with a curious mind. Tender
and emotional, fearless like me, and ready to go to where BDSM and
spirituality swim together in dark waters. In my mind's eye I see not
the package, but his, or maybe her heart, beating steadily in time with
mine." Coincidentally (or not), you met me right around the time
this column came out. Do you think that my description fits you? Do you
feel that our meeting was part of your spiritual path?
GRIFFIN: "Absolutely. I would describe myself as a person who goes
with the flow of spirit. In simple terms, I'm a submissive to God. That
means I serve creation through a series of inspirations, direction, and
I don't allow myself to be made to wander far from the path of
surrender. In my daily life, I step out of my own way, out of ego to be
a 'hollow bone' through which divine archetypal forces may guide me. It
allows me to serve God and help people in all of my interactions, and
ultimately that it might have a ripple effect that blesses the next
seven generations. (Native American spirituality suggests we do nothing
that will harm the next seven generations to come). That is, think about
how my actions today will affect the children and grandchildren.
"Today I woke up with a song in my heart saying 'hocahay' (Today is
a good day to die). I always wake with that feeling. I'm ready to die,
not necessarily physically, but rather ready to have a spiritual death
if necessary. A spiritual death is the death of self, so the new self
may live. That might be allowing a thought or a behavior to die so I can
move on to a new way of living. It's like clearing away the things in
the hollow bone and keeping it clear.
"I do feel my meeting with you was part of my spiritual path
because of the law of attraction. Like energy attracts like energy. When
I think in a certain way, then I will attract it to me. I was in search
of a more fulfilling interaction or relationship. I was looking for
someone who was into exploring BDSM as a spiritual path. There are a lot
of people in the scene, but not to many who would consider BDSM as a
spiritual path."
Sadie: In our relationship, you are primarily Dominant although you
do have me top you occasionally. What were your thoughts around setting
things up this way?
Griffin: "As I said before it is a spiritual thing for me. When I'm
in Dom space I really groove on the power exchange. When I look into the
brown of your eyes the universe opens up and your surrender brings me
were I want to be. When you top me, it brings out a balance of energy in
me that helps me to unfold and embrace my masochistic nature. It also
allows me the opportunity to go back to the beginning when I was first
introduced into the lifestyle. I must admit that I'm probably about 60%
submissive and 40% Dominant. I have never been able to fit into someone
else's definition of what I'm supposed to be. I will not be put into a
box. If there were a book about how you're supposed to be a good
anything in this world I would burn it!
"It's not something you can learn from a book, though. In order to
be a good Dominant, one must have some experience as a bottom because
it's impossible to really know something unless you experience it
directly. To really know it is to take in the whole picture, not just
reading about the mechanics like flogging or bondage. When I'm being
dominated I get a fuller understanding of what submission feels like on
a physical, emotional and spiritual level, not to mention it feels good!
"Being a Dominant is much more involved. You put out more psychic
and mental energy in planning out how the Submissive will behave in or
out of a scene, as well as being responsible for the scene being safe,
sane, and consensual. It can at times take a lot of thought and focus. I
love the power exchange, "when you (Sadie) are in subspace it is a
very beautiful thing to witness."
Sadie: You are a switch, and have had some bisexual experiences. In
what ways do you feel that your fluidity in these areas has contributed
to, or limited your BDSM explorations?
Griffin: "As for being a switch I've never been able to fit into
the box that someone else has created. This is a lot of fun for me and I
must not forget that I have been blessed by a fuller understanding of
what the D/s lifestyle has to offer. It has only one limitation that
I've identified in that it's difficult to submit to a Dominant who is also
my own submissive. As for being into bisexuality I enjoyed the erotic
exchange at that point in my life but discovered that it didn't fit my
personality and it didn't feel like I was being truthful to my
self."
Sadie: We also have an open relationship. What have been the challenges
and the advantages for you around this? Do you see it as a long-term
option?
Griffin: "One of the challenges I am aware of is that mainstream
psychology says that open relationships are doomed to fail. Hooey to
that Freudian psychobabble. It has its dangers but it seems like a real
possibility with the right people or person. As long as we have rules
set into it and we both follow them to the letter, it appears that it
could become a long-term thing."
Sadie: Your first Dominant was abusive in both emotional and physical
ways. Can you tell me a little bit about this experience, and what you
learned from it?
Griffin: "Yes she was very abusive and it's very sad to think that
she may be manipulating another person into believing her way of the D/s
lifestyle is the only way. What I learned from that experience was how
to be a extreme player; i.e. I became a pain slut, learned to go into
subspace very quickly, and experienced the world of BDSM for the first
time."
Sadie: What is your spiritual background? What are some of the
experiences that have formed your approach?
Griffin: "My spiritual background is diversified and eclectic. My
core beliefs are grounded in the Native American spiritual ways, and
branch out to things like dowsing, sound healing, Taoist meditation and
vibrational medicine. My spiritual path began at the early age of five,
but didn't take form until I "died" at age 18. I had dabbled
with black magic during my teen years but that was a pitiful attempt at
becoming powerful. I began studying Native American spirituality at that
age of 18 or 19. It brought me to many different paths but I stayed
grounded in it because it resonated with me. I began doing sweatlodges
with an elder named Grandfather Two Crows. He trained me for six years
in the sweatlodge ceremony, vision quest, medicine wheel, pipe ceremony,
and other ceremonies.
"During this time in my life I was always searching for something
more. That feeling of being connected to God and Goddess was my main
focus. I found that pain was an easy way to leave my body, or to 'trance
out' and so I began to embrace my masochistic nature. I then began to
push my pain threshold by doing things like pouring sweatlodges very
very hot. The sensation of the hot steam on my body is like a thousand
little pinpricks - aaaaaahhhhh! Unfortunately Grandfather Two Crows
passed away.
"It was then that I discovered the Sundance, which is a different
way from what I had been doing. What that brought to me was a truly
wonderful way to express my masochistic tendencies. It involves piercing
and breaking the flesh with skewers while tethered to a tree, fasting
for four days without food or water and dancing in the sun. (This is not
a complete description of what goes on at a Sundance.) I had arrived at
a point of total bliss but because of issues that presented themselves I
was unable to continue with that particular way. I also studied Taoist
esoteric yoga to achieve orgasm without ejaculating. That way didn't do
it for me so I studied another way called Quodoshka which did give me a
good experience but it turned out to be what is termed 'plastic
medicine.' I could go on but that loosely describes some of my spiritual
background."
Sadie: How would you describe your spiritual approach to BDSM? What
are some of the ways you have integrated your beliefs into your play?
Griffin: "During the early nineties a Domme and her slave exposed
me to BDSM. I was also involved with the Native American ceremonies as
well. The two began to meld into each other and I discovered that there
is a lot of crossover between the spirituality I practice and BDSM. I
didn't have any real knowledge about the scene at that time in my life.
I was a babe in the woods, but I did have the thirst to evolve my
S&M sexuality into my spirituality and I really didn't have any
framework to go by because my mistress kept me in the dark. I did begin
to understand that doing BDSM is a spiritual thing and not a bad or
dirty thing. Thus I began to embrace my true nature. I have developed a
way of looking at BDSM as a way of connecting to another person and God
in a very profound way. The similarities between my spiritual walk and
BDSM are very complex.
"First I'll talk about the sweat lodge. It begins with a total
surrender of the spirit, body, heart and mind. It requires sitting in
one place for up to four or more hours in intense heat. If done in a
traditional way there is a great deal of regimen that must be followed
such as getting down on your knees to enter and asking permission to
leave. There is a certain kind of submission to the water pourer which
is trusting that they won't hurt you but most importantly it is to trust
that he or she is a hollow bone who is calling spirit, and knows what to
do when they get there.
"I also did a Vision quest. To keep it short I will describe a
particular type of vision quest were I was buried. It was like being
totally bound i.e. full body bondage but more. It required that I
totally give myself to the earth to be consumed by her.
"I hope you can clearly see the similarities in my description. The
main thing is that it involves sacrifice just like the submissives need
to give up their body, mind, and spirit to the Dominant and just like
the Dominants need to feel that surrender from the submissive. It has
the same flavor and it certainly isn't just vanilla.
"All of these examples and more can be integrated into my
personal approach to BDSM. I feel that the cross over between the
spirituality I practice and BDSM make for unique scenes. I must say I
find it very interesting that I found a way to blend my spirituality and
the D/s lifestyle into equal ways of expressing my spirituality. I can
say that it is still evolving into something indescribably exciting and
I hope it never stops."
Sadie: In writing about you, I once said that, "He understands
that there is a difference between just flogging someone as a physical
exercise, and flogging as a way of transforming your energy to your
Submissive. I have felt his energy through his hands, and I suspect that
a flogger or whatever tool will be just another extension of his
fingers." This is a pretty high compliment. What are your thoughts
about this kind of transformational energy?
Griffin: "Whatever the instrument I choose to use becomes a
magnifier of my own energy thus becomes a tool for transmitting my
intention. I feel the energy of my submissive expand and contract. I can
adjust the amount of energy being transmitted through the tool thus
creating a reaction in the submissives spiritual bodies as well as her
physical body. It requires a lot of focus but it's a hell of a lot of
fun for me."
Sadie: In one of my columns I wrote about how you had a moment when
you slipped from Domspace to Subspace during a scene very early in our
relationship. How did it feel to have someone writing about you?
Although most of the things I write about you are positive, this one
makes you a little more vulnerable in some ways. How did that feel?
Griffin: "It was humbling to say the least but if I start worrying
what your readers will think that would take all the fun out of our play
and it would be egotistical of me to present myself as a Dom without
fault."
Sadie: What do you think about the dynamic with regards to so many
people knowing me (Sadie) through my leadership and writing? IE do you
groove on the celebrity thing, or does it present some challenges?
Griffin: "Well that poses a lot of interesting challenges. As for
you being a leader I wouldn't have it any other way. I look at you as a
person who has the gift of being able to organize and facilitate a very
difficult thing to do. I've recently had an experience that left me
thinking I'd better watch what I say more carefully. It doesn't bother
me that people may gossip about me. What really bothers me is when
people put anyone in the context of being scrutinized. It seems that's
human nature but it still doesn't sit well with me because it shows no
integrity on the part of those people."
Sadie: I've also written that, "So it was that Griffin designed
a set of exercises for me which will prepare me to experience not only
the whole body orgasm, but a deeper level of spiritual awareness."
How would you describe these exercises, and what is your overall goal in
this approach?
Griffin: "To share the experience of connecting to God and to
witness it in someone else is an experience that I've had a couple of
times with other women. It is my goal to train a submissive to
experience it. It requires a level of training that has its challenges
and its not easily done without a commitment. However there is joy in
the journey."
Sadie: Regarding these exercises, you also caution that energy work
should always be done with an experienced guide. What do you mean by
this?
Griffin: "Any kind of energy work should only be done by people
with some formal training. It scares me to think that people are doing
things like acupuncture (needle play) without any knowledge of the five
pathways or chakras. Real harm can occur when someone isn't trained,
such as damage to the lymphatic system, Liver spleen, and pancreas. Not
to mention the spiritual damage that goes along with those."
Sadie: You have been in two BDSM relationships prior to myself, and
yet I describe you as fairly experienced because you are so grounded
both emotionally and spiritually. What parameters do you feel are
important in defining your own "experience" and where do you
put yourself now?
Griffin: "As a dominant I would have to say that I need to be
humble. That means I keep awareness that submission is a blessing and
should be treated as sacred. When my submissive is giving up her will to
me and first submitting inwardly then outwardly to me. I need to remain
gentle, calm, loving and respectful of her ability to reach subspace. It
is then that I become aware of the full scope of what she is giving up
to me in a very profound way. If I try to force this or manipulate it by
the mechanics like flogging her longer harder etc. or if dominance takes
on the energy of ego or manipulation, it doesn't work. What usually
happens is she doesn't reach the deeper levels of subspace.
"I feel that my switch nature has taught me to really appreciate
the submissives ability to serve in any capacity whether it's in or out
of a scene. Most of the time I would prefer that surrender comes from a
place of total trust in my ability to bring about the desired outcome
for both of us. That means it's not a me, my or I thing it's a we thing.
There must be a mutual understanding of how deep your partners can go
and how much effort is put into deepening the power exchange. The other
parameter that I feel strongly about is that it is a dangerous place to
be if there isn't a clearly defined limit to what she/he will endure for
our mutual pleasure.
"At this point I'm honing my skills as a Dominant, I'm developing a
razor sharp way of defining the spiritual expression of future scenes
that I do. I am currently doing research on what subspace/Domspace is on
a spiritual level with the intention of be able to make the submissive
fly, with minimal effort on both our parts."
Sadie: Any other thoughts you'd like to share with our readers?
Griffin: "Yes remember to have fun, play safe, and search out
other like minded people who consider BDSM a spiritual thing. We are on
a cusp of a new awakening towards alternative lifestyles. If we can put
our differences aside and come together in a unified way, the
possibilities are very exciting. We also can grow together in our
sharing of the different ways we get to that sacred space in between
through BDSM."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sensuous Sadie is the author of It's Not About the Whip: Love, Sex,
and Spirituality in the BDSM Scene (http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html).
She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of Rose & Thorn,
Vermont's first BDSM group. Comments, compliments and complaints, as
well as requests for reprinting can be addressed to her at SensuousSadie@aol.com
or visit her website at www.sensuoussadie.com
. Sadie believes the universe is abundant, and that sharing information
freely is part of this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing
in most venues.
Copyright December 2003 Sadie Sez Publications
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