|
|
||||||
|
|
SceneProfiles Interview with DominaBlue |
|
||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
|
SENSUOUS SADIE: You seem to take an approach to BDSM that is lighthearted in nature. Considering how many players take themselves too darn seriously, how it you came to have this attitude and how does it manifest in your play? DOMINABLUE: "I learned a long time ago that life to way too short to take it seriously. I think I have this attitude because of a few life experiences which should have left me dead. I like to have fun and am a playful person. I think this extends to all aspects of my life. I’m a big believer that if you aren’t enjoying something, why do it." Sadie: You say "a riding crop and a blindfold doesn't make it BDSM. There is a big difference between being kinky and being in the scene." Considering that most of the people in the scene are not only novices, but are casual players in that they haven't committed their lifestyle to BDSM, where do you draw that line? Blue: "I think it has to do with heart, what is your intention and motive. And they nice thing about the BDSM lifestyle is that you can carve out your own unique path. Just because I’m not into the same things as another, doesn’t make my lifestyle any less or greater than the next. There is a lot of freedom of choice in this community and I think that what makes it so great. "Okay I could write a whole paper on this one quote. And I’m sure it could be the topic of lots of hot debate. I think one of the great parts of our community is that my conception of BDSM is just that, mine and mine alone. Different people see things very differently at times. "However, this interview is about me and how I see it, so here I go. Kinky sex and BDSM are two different acts that are related in some ways if you are looking in from the outside. Don’t get me wrong because I love both of the acts. For a long while kinky sex was all that I had with my many vanilla boyfriends. A bit of strange is better than nothing. "Kinky sex and BDSM can both be passionate and rough, however what I think differentiates BDSM as its own act is the soulfulness placed in it. Kinky sex is an act of passion. BDSM is a different act of passion with a certain soulful need and/or desire. It’s passion with reason and restraint (figuratively) used on one side. "I’ve had kinky sex where I’ve used a riding crop and a blindfold as a prop. I think that’s the thing, kinky sex it’s a prop, like an acting tool. In BDSM it’s from the very essence of my core. It’s from a deep down place inside where I’m baring my all. It’s a very pure and innocent interchange between people. "Sex is a very primal act, it’s a basic need just like food, shelter and water. "To me, BDSM is a very spiritual thing. I feel alive on so many different levels when I’m engaged in the sharing of someone’s body and soul, given over the care of me. For me I liken being a top to a travel agent, I like to facilitate taking people to place they could have never imagined. I enjoy being part of the journey, to help people experience what makes their souls fly. I love to see the look of pure joy on someone’s face. Being part of bliss is never a bad thing. "Toys-Toys-Toys vs. Spiritual Side "First of all I LOVE toys especially the new ones. However, I see them as an extension of myself. I think it’s really the person behind the equipment that makes the difference. The best toy in my 'bag' is still myself. Without my imagination, creativity and soul, I’d be a really crappy partner. I think BDSM is an exchange between people. Someone gives me their trust and in exchange for that, I try and take them on a magical journey inside themselves. "I always enjoy playing with people who I know, the emotional connection always makes for a better exchange. I have a genuine interest in people. After all, I’m not playing the body, I’m playing with the person. "I’m not the type of person to just jump in and play with someone who I haven’t taken the time to get to know something about. I’m not saying that I haven’t done this before because I have and it’s always been lacking that spiritual connection that I try to find with people before we play."
Sadie: Where did your unusual name come from? Blue: "I really wish that I had a greater story for my name but sometimes the truth is far less fun than reality. It all started at one of my first parties in the Albany area, it was an ASB Halloween party. It was a last minute decision to go, so I ran out to get something to wear. I was in a store deciding between a purple, orange or blue wig. I picked the blue wig. I received a lot of compliments on the color that night and since it was my first time meeting some people I was called the Domme in the blue wig. I didn’t have a scene name, so I thought Domina Blue sounded cool. In retrospect, I am SO glad that I didn’t pick the orange wig. I couldn’t imagine being known as Domina Orange or maybe I might have gone with Mistress Tang. Plus you don’t see much orange fetish gear." Sadie: You commented "it's not a sexual thing to me; it's a very spiritual thing." I found this a very telling statement. Can you tell me a little bit more about your spiritual approach and how you invoke that in your play? Blue: "I think playing with somebody is a very soulful act; you’re sharing a part of yourself with another and vice versa. BDSM is an act that is intimate and deep, it goes way beyond the physical aspects. It’s something that transcends the act itself. I try to put my all into every scene that I do, it’s very important for me to be totally 'there' in the act at the moment and not thinking of the homework, dishes or other distractions." Sadie: What kind of demonstrations to do you do? What are your favorites? Blue: "So far I’ve only done caning demonstrations. I love to do demos on the sensuous side of caning. A cane doesn’t always have to be biting and harsh; it can be very warm and inviting. I just love to cane. It makes me feel warm inside." Sadie: Your bio states "BDSM is not about control and degradation. It's about personal growth and beauty. When some of the acts that are done don't seem that way, this is what is at the heart of them for me." Can you expand a little on that? Blue: "I think that BDSM is a need from the soul, whether you are into bondage, punishment, humiliation, etc. it’s a need for you down deep. I like to get into humiliation play and it’s something that I don’t do with many people. I need someone who craves and desires my degradation. I need someone who needs to be degraded and humiliated where it improves them as a person. I can treat someone worse than the gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe if I know that it will set their soul aflame with happiness."
Sadie: How would you describe your philosophy/approach as it pertains to the BDSM lifestyle? Are you dominant, submissive, switch? Blue: "I really fluctuate between Top and Dominant. I have tried switching a few years ago and found that I was only going thru the motion of the act and that my heart wasn’t in it. I did get to learn a few great techniques from the three very helpful Doms who assisted me in that part of my journey. I am a control freak in all aspects of my life. There is nothing wrong with being an anal retentive, organized control freak. I have a very orderly toy bag because of it." Sadie: What are your thoughts about how the BDSM community is changing as it moves into the new millennium? Blue: "I really hope we find our 'Stonewall' soon. I think that we can find our freedom in this decade. It’s been a long, hard and continuing struggle for our gay and lesbian brethren with their freedom. I think that we can only benefit from the things that they have done before us. I think the alternative communities are linked with one another. When something happens the rights of one community, it will effect another. I keep up on the legal issues that are effecting our community as well as the LGBT communities." Sadie: Do you have any special interests in the BDSM world? Toys? Specialized skills? Blue: "I love caning. I love caning. I love caning. I am also really getting into Japanese rope bondage. My interests change all the time. However, I’m always interested in learning how to do new things. I’ll stop learning when I’m dead. I would have to say that my special interest is learning." Sadie: Any pet peeves about the BDSM lifestyle in general? Blue: "I have people who aren’t considerate of others but I guess this isn’t just a problem in the BDSM communities. I have intolerance for others lifestyle choice and I hate that whole my kink is better than your kink attitude. Also I hate all those cyber subs who IM you with a 'Hello Mistress' and expect you to immediately want them. I just don’t get it. You think that if that approach didn’t work the first few dozen times they would stop using it." Sadie: How did your approach to BDSM change over time you've been exploring this side of your sexuality? Blue: "My approach to BDSM is ever changing. As I’ve grown from a teenager verbally lashing out and humiliating boys to a woman finding her own style in this colorful world, I’ve always tried to do what felt right at the time. I’ve been a girl with a crop, a cruel goddess, a harsh mistress, a loving evolutionist and a 'travel agent.' I am all of these rolls and many more. I embrace change when it happens and always look forward to the next incarnation of my style." Sadie: What kind of advice would you give to novices starting out in the lifestyle? Blue: "Communication and research are two of the most important things in your toy bag. With the advent of the internet SO much information is available to all of us. Ignorance should not be allowed with the ease of which information can be gained today. Also get involved in your local community and find someone to show you the ropes, a mentor is never a bad thing." Sadie: What are the biggest challenges you've found in growing both as a player and a person? Blue: "That I have to keep moving, that I can’t stand still. I need to always strive to better myself and improve upon everything. I have to continuously embrace change. " Sadie: How long have you been involved in the BDSM scene? Please tell me a little bit about your background and experience. Blue: "I’ve been exploring my BDSM yearnings since my early teens. Something about it just felt right in all the good ways. I grew up next door to a horse farm so I was handy with a lunge whip and crop at a young age. In high school I had boys that would let me tie them up and maybe even spank them a bit while I verbally antagonized them. In my late teens, while I was in the Army, I met a few guys who really liked to be treated badly and even one who cleaned my room, shined my combat boots and sleep under my bed on occasion. After I got out of the Army and moved back to the states, I started to get involved with the local BDSM community. I have to say getting involved was really great for me; I got to meet a lot of great people, learn some neat tricks and feel like I wasn’t the only freak into this." Sadie: You were a child with a great imagination. Where are the places that your mind took you? Blue: "Even at a young age, my mind took me into places that most people wouldn’t think were normal. I grew up out in the country and the group of kids in the area played games together. I would always try to steer the game into something that might involve someone getting tied up and maybe even interrogated. (I’ve always been fascinated by interrogator in the movies, they do have the coolest toys.) Today, I use my imagination in scenes. I love to come up with great, fantastic ideas." Sadie: One of your early erotic/BDSM memories has to do with riding horses and the beauty of your connection with them. Please tell me about this. Blue: "I love to ride horses; it is such a sense of power and freedom. I think the thing I love about it most was that is was a partnership. You needed to communicate with the horse in many subtle ways, from a pat on the neck to the tightness of your thighs. I love the subtle commands and communications. I’m very much into enjoying the small pleasure in life." Sadie: Are you willing to train other dominants? Blue: "I’m a HUGE believer in mentoring. I’m always willing to share what I know with someone. It’s a big part of giving back what others have given you. I like the mentoring idea because it’s good to have a close relationship with members of your peer group." Sadie: Do you have any particular areas of education or specialization that you would like to educate our readers about? Blue: "I’m on a few soapboxes when it comes to BDSM. (It’s easy to do so when you are opinioned like I am.) First of all, I think everyone should have a pair of EMT shears. They are great and can cut thru rope, leather, jean, etc. in a hurry without risking damage to your playmate. I’d rather cut a pair of restraints or a rope harness then risk damage to someone that needs to get out in a hurry. Also I think that a small first aid kit is a necessity in everyone’s toy bag. I check the contents of mine from time to time just to make sure what I need is in there. A little bit of 'preventative maintenance' can save your ass when you really need something that isn’t in the bag any more. "Okay, for my other soapbox, for me BDSM is an act filled with grace and beauty, it’s not to be taken lightly. I think that forming a relationship/bond with your partners makes the pleasure in the act increase tenfold. BDSM is an exchange of immense intimate proportions. It’s from the soul and should be respected as so." Sadie: You are the “Ask DominaBlue Q&A" specialist for the BDSM News. (http://www.bdsmnews.info/). What attracted you to this particular role? What kinds of articles will you be working on? Blue: "I like to find out the answers to things. I love to research and dig into information. I’ve become such an information 'junkie' with the advent of the internet. I’m so used to being able to look up things at a moment’s notice. I like knowing things. I’m not saying that I’m a know-it-all because I’m far from it but I have no problem with finding out answers to questions that I don’t know. I’m going to be working on the whole Q&A thing. I’m really looking forward to seeing the different types of questions that people ask." Sadie: How did you get involved in this project? What are your hopes for it in the next year? Blue: "I got involved in this project because it’s something I believe in. I think that information is a valuable commodity in our community. My hope for the next year is that I will be a lot more knowledgeable then I am now. I hope that I will have been able to answers lots of questions along the way." Sadie: Anything else you'd like to add? Please feel free to write about any particular topics of your interest, as well as promote yourself in any way you like. Blue: "Okay, ready for my kooky ideas. Here I go. I think that the pussy is power. (Society has placed this power on the pussy, made it a 'figure head' of sorts.) Those that control the pussy, control the game is some ways. For me (with the exception of Charlie who I have a long term, special relationship with) I don’t play in a sexual way. I think that part of my power is in the withholding of pussy. It’s desire of my playmate that gives me this power. As a male Dom, part of my control may be in taking the pussy? (Guys, tell me if I’m wrong!) "The sharing thing, I’ve always like to work as part of a team. I’ve had some great experiences sharing a sub with another femme Dom. It’s just something about the sisterhood of it all. However when it came to sharing a sub that meant a great deal to me, I was nervous as hell. It’s was a lot harder with someone who I cared about. Even thought I had picked other femme Dom’s that I had trusted implicitly it was still hard. I’m good at sharing most 'toys' but not my favorite. "Clothing, I sometimes like to scene in my nice comfy slippers and bathrobe. However, when I’m out playing I love to dress up. I love to dress up but when I’m at home with Charlie I can either spend the time changing or playing. It’s not a hard decision to make. "Now the ritual part of my answer, it’s like the whole Mounds/Almond Joy thing. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t." Sadie: Thank you very much for chatting with me! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A POEM BY DominaBlue I love seeing the changes in someone. I love the look on their face when they enter sub space. I love the way their body can react maddeningly to a gentle touch the same as a harsh hit of the paddle. I love the way I can make a body contort and play it as if it's an instrument. I love the loll of the head when put upon the cross. I love the sound of my flicker crop cutting through the air. I love the slightly open mouth, harshly breathing in turn with the wail of the flogger. I love to put the nipple clamps on knowing it will hurt more upon removal. I love the smell of my leather that pervades when I unleash my big flogger. The way some people's toes curl when you whip them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sensuous
Sadie is the author of It's Not
About the Whip: Love, Sex, and Spirituality in the BDSM Scene (http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html).
She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of Copyright 2003 Sadie Sez Publications
|
|
|
||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
