SCENEprofiles Interview with 
Lady Catherine
Founder of Fetish Auctioneer 

notnilla@optonline.net

http://www.fetishauctioneer.com 

http://www.BDSMClasses.com 

Catherine was also a Gloria Brame guest of the month for November 2002. You can read about this at:

http://gloria-brame.com/mbarchive/hot_guests.htm 

LADY CATHERINE: "We’ve changed the layout of the front page. That alone is so much more user friendly that we’ve had a ton of compliments. We have also added greater functionality. Our sellers can now delete or edit auctions that do not have bids. I’ve hired a new tech that is wonderful. We’re going to steadily made changes that will enhance our client’s experience. FA currently has over 1700 items from some of the best vendors in the country. I’m very pleased to provide this site free to users across the country."

Catherine: "Ebay is a general purpose auction site. We’re a specific kink, adult friendly site. We allow descriptions and pictures that reflect the actual use of our seller’s products. Ebay does not allow any language that reflects adult sexual behavior or kinky behavior. We thought it was time for a site where adults may see pictures and descriptions that accurately present how an item is used."

Catherine: "That is correct. Sellers do pay $3.00 to feature their auctions and we sell banners ($12.00 a month or $30.00 for 3 months). However, this does not cover the operating costs or the labor. This is a family project—we personally subsidize it. We were appalled at how Ebay treated our friends and choose to create a welcoming environment for vendors of adult items. It was our way to right what we felt was a clear wrong."

Catherine: "FA has feedback and if there is an issue with a sale, we mediate and will call a seller to aid in completing the sale. If a seller has three negative feedbacks in one month they will be suspended and not allowed to sell on FA in the future."

Catherine: "We have found our collars, vests and restraints are the most popular. Generally we wholesale but our items may be found on Fetish Auctioneer under the username Chaingang as well."

Catherine: "My orientation, at this time in my life, is top. I am a dominant, sadistic woman. I was a slave for many years as well. I have found I no longer desire to serve and haven’t for a very long time. Topping provides me with tremendous pleasure. My interests and favorite toys could indeed be a very long list."

"I love canes. I have found an immense versatility and breathe of play with canes. There are so many strokes to choose from and one may always improve one’s skills. Improving skills is something, which greatly interests me so I find value and satisfaction in caning. I adore creating weighting systems. It doesn’t matter if the foundation is rope, needles, clamps or what have you. I love the sheer endless creativity of the play. I also love the mind. It is the greatest treasure trove of wealth and glee I have ever had the privilege to explore. Those are a few of my loves in play. Honestly, there are few activities that I do not enjoy. I may take pleasure in almost any act when it will harvest the desired response from my playmates."

Catherine: "I utilize many approaches to play. At times I play: to teach, for fun, to exercise and stretch a bottom, or to push limits, or to create emotions, or to reach for the soul. When I wish to engage another in deep spiritual play, I have found several activities will aid in accomplishing my goal. These activities are: 1) to control the breathing rhythm of the bottom I am playing with; 2) to be repetitive in the phrases I choose to use; 3) to make sure the environment I play in does not distract or interfere with my bottom’s focus; 4) I utilize activities that will not jolt them but will gently insinuate sensation. In other words, a gradual increase of activity; and 5) I utilize my voice like a well trained instrument that will act not as a guide because I will not force an experience but allow it to develop naturally. My voice is merely like a string that holds a flying kite.

"Spirituality is all about openness and a lack of fear. We merely need to add elements and then go where we may without editing the experience or attempting to control it."

Catherine: "I am not in a position to tell anyone what a basic tenet of his or her submission would be or may be. We are each so beautifully different that I would not wish to define one aspect or another as a characteristic that every person must have in order to be submissive. It may be pleasurable to a top to have a bottom that has no control over their orgasms and simply orgasms when their body is ready.

"Other than honesty, choosing to obey and being a powerful person, I would say the basics of a submissive experience will vary greatly."

Catherine: "Self-mutilation has been on the books as a repetitive behavior of self abuse for a long time. The individuals who do this have no other way to express their pain. It is something we’re seeing more and more in children. This is not SM, this is mutilation and a cry for help.

"What I do is art. I am an adult who understands how to express her pain and does not engage in abusive behavior. Cutting is a form of body modification. Some piercing studios offer it professionally across the country (please see http://www.PierceInk.com). I do not need to see a professional as I am a skilled cutter.

"The modification I cut in my arm, and have had cut in my arm during ceremony, is part of a ritual for me. The mark is meaningful to me and each line has a separate meaning. I also have an earned pendent that was presented to me that is a duplicate of this mark.

"Cutting is no different than tattoos. We use them to delineate important events in our lives. My mark is no different."

Catherine: "Therapy is a well defined relationship that allows for safer self exploration. It is a necessary part of our society and one must be well schooled to practice as a therapist and licensed. If you don’t have the degree, you should leave such practices to the professionals."

"However, when we explore what is therapeutic in our lives the range is on a grand scale. It means something that improves our state of well being. It may add to the richness of our lives. I believe SM can add to the richness of our lives. For example, let’s say a woman has issues with her weight. She believes herself to be unattractive. She has covered herself from neck to toe because she has felt herself to be unattractive. One night, her top has her dress in garters, a corset, stockings, heels and a thong. He takes her to the local dungeon. She is afraid to take her coat off but does when her top tells her too. For the next three hours, people tell her she’s beautiful, that her curves are luscious. This woman is going to walk out of the dungeon possibly with a new set of positive feelings. That experience was therapeutic for her."

Catherine: "I think some people should draw this line. Not all people can take pleasure in this type of play and I believe those who can are rare. I would also add that few tops are skilled enough to manage an emotional masochist. I believe there are very rare situations where one should inflict emotional pain on bottoms.

"Emotional masochists are not necessarily people who wish to have emotional trauma inflicted. They are people who do make some of the best servants I have ever seen. They do not need thanks, motivation, play or the normal activities 99% of folks who play engage in. These are people who can wait, take pleasure in turning longing, wanting, and desire into motivation to keep providing service. I know this type of play to be a clean, acceptable, and a non-abusive form of play because when I was a slave I was also an emotional masochist. The more I was denied, the better I was at providing good service.

"As to situations that inflict emotional pain, perhaps a better phrase is to create situation where one may explore emotional pain. An easy example is rape play. For those who have been raped, this type of play is highly charged and can induce strong emotions. The difference between a scenario that is emotionally damaging and one that is emotionally empowering is the play that leaves you feeling on top of the world as if you have conquered some old part of yourself as opposed to play that leaves you feeling victimized. One should be in a position of knowing what the outcome will be before you play. That comes good self knowledge and being sure of what you want and how you want it. If you aren’t sure, you shouldn’t play."

Sadie: You have an amazingly busy calendar, traveling across the United States to do workshops and attend events. Would it be fair to say that you no longer have a day job?

Catherine: "Actually, as to a day job, running Fetish Auctioneer, the chainmail business and my wholesale toy business is a full time job. The difference is that I have organized my life in a manner that I can take my office on the road with me. I only had six 24 hour days last year that I didn’t work. So, do I work for someone else in a 9-5? No. Do I work for myself and work longer than 9 to 5? Yes."

Catherine: "During that time what was most in demand was improving productivity. I would go into another’s home, watch what they did, go over their schedules and duties. I would then educate the servant’s in areas they were lacking, teach them how to improve their use of time, and organization. I also always taught them how to improve their perception of their world and duties thereby improving their overall happiness in their positions."

"In many situations, I simply sat down with either the employer or owner and discussed their goals. I would create tailor made programs to achieve these goals. I still do this, however, I find there is a much small market in the south where I now primarily reside."

Catherine: "It truly depends on what you mean by challenging. Bloodsports can be very challenging due to the time it takes to prepare for the class. Some of my classes take 3-4 hours to prepare the items I will use and another few hours to prepare the bodies.

"As to what is most challenging to teach from the classes themselves that would be my latest creation. I have put together a weekend retreat called Servants Retreat. I am not teaching skill sets. I am teaching emotional fortitude to those who serve. Each session has worksheets and it’s an intensely personal excavation. I don’t provide ‘the’ answers, I provide worksheets and structures that lead servants to their own personal answers. I have done this in two locations so far and people are making life changes. The next two retreats are scheduled in Baltimore and Atlanta. For more information, please see my website. I will be scheduling other cities shortly."

Catherine: "The most unrealistic expectations are: 1) Once you become a slave, you’ll never have to make another decision or choice; 2) That what you read about or fantasized about can be real; 3) Masters/Mistresses are typically wealthy and able to keep slaves purely for sexual use; 4) Masters and Mistresses have wild, over-the-top sex with their slaves several times every day; 5) slaves are less than tops; 6) The only thing that can ensure a slave’s obedience is fear of punishment; 7) Young slaves are much more trainable than old ones; 8) Owners or slaves who love each other are fools; 9) Heavy, constant BDSM activity is an essential part of Mastery/slavery; 10) slaves must have no limits, or they aren’t real slaves.

Some of the most common questions are: 1) how do we keep from losing the play in our relationship?; 2) What do we do if the protocols have slipped, how do we get back to where we were?; 3) How can I serve with children in my house?; 4) Can a 24/7 relationship work?; 5) What happens when the top or bottom is tired or stressed?; 6) How does one navigate headspace between job and home when the slave is a boss at their job?; and 7) How do you handle vanilla friends?

Catherine: "I approach it from the standpoint of an adult. We learn through play as children and we can learn through play as adults. Age play may also incorporate many forms that have nothing to do with sex. Some folks play to gain: 1) a space of unconditional love; 2) a place where they don’t have their regular life responsibilities; 3) a space where they have the freedom to engage in particular behaviors that are inherent to a certain age (little girls in laps); 4) this space allows them to receive unconditional love they never received as children; 5) an innocence and charm that comes with innocence; and 6) simply because it’s fun to play with Lincoln logs."

Catherine: "I enjoyed my month as Dr. Brame’s guest very much. I answered questions posed by those who read her message boards and at times provided subject matter for discussion. What I enjoyed most was learning from the diverse, intelligent people who frequent her boards. Every person has an insight and it’s a blessing to be able to learn from others."

Catherine: "This book is short. It covers many of the basics to prepare the reader for parties, many types of play, socializing, cleaning toys, etc. It is not meant to be an all inclusive instruction but a short manual to get new members off the ground and into a very solid start. It is specifically for novices and new members of various groups."

Catherine: "I give private classes that are tailor made for each individual or couple. I have a passion for teaching and love one on one teaching situations. Please feel free to email me at Notnilla@aol.com for more information and visit my teaching site at http://www.BDSMClasses.com

Catherine: "You’re most welcome."

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Sensuous Sadie is the author of It's Not About the Whip: Love, Sex, and Spirituality in the BDSM Scene (http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html). She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of Rose & Thorn , Vermont 's first BDSM group. Comments, compliments and complaints, as well as requests for reprinting can be addressed to her at SensuousSadie@aol.com  or visit her website at www.sensuoussadie.com. Sadie believes the universe is abundant, and that sharing information freely is part of this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing in most venues.

Copyright 2003 Sadie Sez Publications