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Interview with Barbie |
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HouseMermaid@aol.com (Dex) mermaid_barbie@yahoo.com (barbie) Read Dex' Article Christmas Rituals and BDSM
Sensuous Sadie: House mermaid has a very professional setup in terms of BDSM toys and equipment. What's it like living there? Is there a lot of maintenance? Are you involved in the ongoing work on the lower dungeon? Barbie: "Living in House Mermaid can be as simple as any vanilla lifestyle, to as exciting and intriguing as you want. When it is just Dex and myself it can vary, but bring in some like minded others and it is fun and exciting. There are the usual humdrum daily chores to do, and then there are steps to be taken to make the House ready for guests. House Mermaid is a three-story Victorian so there is some maintenance involved. As for the Lower Dungeon, i guess you could say i am the guinea pig or the test dummy. If there is a new piece of equipment to try so that the specifications are right, then i get involved. At times i have helped with sanding and staining different pieces of equipment." Sadie: To my knowledge, there are no BDSM houses in Vermont which even begin to compare with House Mermaid. Can you describe the house for our readers? Barbie: "As i said, House Mermaid is a three-story Victorian. Let’s start in the basement or the soon to be Lower Dungeon, it lends the sense of a dungeon with the rock walls and bare beams. The coal bin already has a piece of equipment in it, a wooden pony. From the floor of the coal bin to the floor joists above measures ten feet. Hopefully, W/we will be able to get the pony stalls ready soon, and there will also be a medical room. Right now that area is a work in progress. There are two ways to get up to the second floor, a nice wooden staircase in the main entrance or the enclosed back stairs. On the first floor, there is a guest room which is still full of storage items, a full bath, a bright sitting room that has a futon which is used for guests staying over, a kitchen with back door to the porch/smoking area, the dining room with wood stove and the living room. Just inside the side entranceway there is a brass ship’s bell. Dominants arriving are rung aboard just as someone in formal dress with a title would be greeted aboard a ship. "The downstairs has hardwood floors throughout the front section. The back areas are linoleum. The second floor has a changing room, guest bedroom, a large bright room which can be used to kick back and watch TV or exercise or do a massage. The Master’s bedroom is on this floor, as are a full bath, my doll room, the office, and of course the stairs to the Upper Dungeon. Then on the third floor is O/our wonderful dungeon. As you mentioned, there are pictures on the website. Just remember that this is a work in progress (the site as well as House). In the dungeon W/we have three cages. One is pretty barren except for the lighting in it; the upper cage has carpet which has been laid upside down, a tea set, and some dolls. The third cage has a roadway carpet laid out and some cars to play with; a bondage bed, stocks overlooking the stairwell coming up, a ladder back chair, a lacing station, two horses, an 11 1/2' whipping pole, and four different crosses. There is a cedar room which has been turned into a waxing room with black light effect and the sybian is in there. The lighting is incredible. Rope lights really top things off up there, and the sound system is good enough to get into subspace, but not so good as to vibrate the neighbor’s houses." Sadie: I understand you are the "submissive charge" of Dex. Can you please explain what this means? Barbie: "Being a charge or submissive is interchangeable in O/our House. It is a term that W/we, Dex and myself, decided on during negotiation of the contract. Dex is in “charge” of my well-being and me. He helps keep me focused on many things." Sadie: What was it like when you first asked Dex for a "collar of consideration?" What was it about him that drew you to this kind of serious commitment? Barbie: "When it came time for me to petition Dex for a “Collar of Consideration,” i was so very nervous. What if He did not want to go further with me? What if i had to start the search for a new Master in my life? Dex is my “Knight in Shining Armor." Before He came into my life i was in a bad vanilla relationship. Dex has taught me a lot in the past three years. He is gentle yet firm, He taught me to love myself, He is everything i had wanted in a relationship." Sadie: What does your training entail? Barbie: "As for training, i have been trained to release on voice command (only works with Dex). He also has certain hand signals He can use to give me various commands. Positions are another area i am still learning. i know many of them but Dex has almost 40 positions, hand signals and voice commands. It is a lot to learn. Sometimes i think it is all there so i will get into trouble and Dex will get to spank me. He loves to spank. Eating off my crate table while sitting on my cushion, after serving Dex first. Learning not to sit in the Master’s chair (He is the only one allowed to sit in it). i do research on different BDSM techniques which interest Dex. As for techniques, I have experienced waxing – candle and paraffin pot, flogging, singletail, quirt, cat o nine tails, various paddles, canes, tactile play, abrasion play, bondage, suspension, caging, sensory deprivation, the sybian, crops, spanking, violet wand, and TENS play. Dex’s new fascination is "sounds," and temporary piercings so i imagine i will soon experience them as well. Training never ends, even though the training collar has been replaced with an ownership collar. It is all about serving, obeying, and loving Dex. So as his interests change, i try to explore with him. It is wonderful to be able to continue to grow and learn." Sadie: How has your approach to your own submission changed since your formal arrangement with Dex? Barbie: "Since W/we have gone through the “Ownership Collaring,” i believe i have a little more freedom than when i wore the “Training Collar." Dex was very specific with "free time" when i was in training. He is not as strict with my free time now. i have a greater sense of self worth and confidence now than i did in the beginning. The comfort level of my submission is greater and stronger now than before i had a Master." Sadie: What is a typical day like for you? Do you have a regular job in the vanilla world as well? Barbie: "Yes, i have a vanilla job that i go to five days a week. Part of O/our contract is that i be gainfully employed. On any given day, i will get up and make coffee for Dex, prepare Him breakfast, and serve Him. Once that is out of the way, i will prepare something for myself. If it is an early work day for me, i will then get myself dressed and ready to head out to work. On days that i do not have to go to work, i will play catch up with chores around the House, watch a little TV, do some reading or sewing and just relax. If W/we are both home at lunch time i will prepare U/us something to eat. Then in the evening if W/we do not have an engagement to be at or W/we are not going out to dinner, i will again cook for the two of U/us. W/we might watch a movie together in the evening, play a little, i sometimes am called upon to massage Dex, or just give Him a back scratch. Dex will usually tell me if it is time for me to get to bed. Often He reminds me to do maintenance before bed, and He will inspect. He has a Gerber hunting knife He uses to shave any spots i might have missed shaving."
Sadie: What are some of your special interests in the BDSM world? Barbie: "BDSM covers such a vast area of interests. From the time i filled out my first activity checklist for Dex till now my interests have changed. Every six months or so Dex pulls the activity check list out of His safe and W/we go over it to compare how I've grown. In the beginning, i believe i was timid and a bit on the conservative side. Without fail some of the things i was not interested in or that were limits then are not now. Now there are so many things i have discovered and enjoy. The single tail is hypnotic or perhaps that is just Dex’s technique. Different leather of the floggers are exciting. Paraffin pot waxing is so wonderful and relaxing. Spankings can be wonderful too." Sadie: How do you feel about Dex taking on additional submissives, even perhaps ones who might live with you? What does it mean when he says that if additional submissives were present, that you would be "alpha submissive?" Barbie: "Now how do i answer this question without getting myself in trouble? It has only been the two of U/us since the first eight months of O/our relationship, so i get possessive of Dex. W/we have had many discussions about how things would be if there were a second or third submissive in or out of the House. It is really hard to tell how i will feel until W/we get to that point. Hopefully, i will be comfortable enough in my position (place) in the House and Dex’ life so that i will be able to welcome the new submissive. Being the “Alpha Submissive” means i am the “Lady of the House." It would be my responsibility to “lead” the others in terms of the House schedule, setting an example in service, and obedience. In other words, i am always the first to get spanked. (she laughs out loud)" Sadie: What is your role during the monthly play parties? I understand that you did not always play in public. What was it that brought you to where you are now? Barbie: "It is my role to make sure the House is cleaned, to arrange the furniture on the first floor so there is a social area, and to prepare a snack or two for the guests. i also prepare a couple of things for family and affiliates to eat before the rest of the guests arrive. When guests start arriving, i try to make myself available to direct them where to hang their coats and put their toy bags. For those who have not been to the House before Dex or i will give them a “50 cent tour” of the place.
"In the beginning, i did not play in public. The confidence or self-esteem Dex has helped to instill in me has helped me to come out of my shell. Also the trust and love that has been built up between the two of U/us has helped bring me to where i am right now." Sadie: Please tell me a little bit about your BDSM background before Dex. Did you always choose formal arrangements with masters? Barbie: "A BDSM background prior to Dex is something i lack. There was a curiosity about the lifestyle, but there were no Masters before Dex. A formal arrangement suits me. i like structure and Dex provides me with that." Sadie: What advice would you give to other submissives who are interested in a formal arrangement like yours? Barbie: "For anyone interested in formal arrangements, they should first research the lifestyle. Once armed with some knowledge seek out a Dominant who realizes the importance of the wonderful gift, “the gift of submission," you have to offer. It is a long road to travel that can be filled with joy and discovery." Sadie: Is there anything else you'd like to share? Barbie: "No matter what, keep the lines of communication open between yourself, the Dominant, and any other submissive/charge/slave who may be part of your close circle. Dex and i have many conversations about different things. Also i keep a journal. i have been keeping a journal in Word since November 1999. Prior to that i kept a diary that i burnt during a confrontation with my vanilla boyfriend. Dex reads my journal, and if i have written something He feels needs to be addressed, He will use the insert feature in Word that puts a highlight in a certain spot. i can bring up what it is that He is saying by mouseing over the highlight. It has worked for U/us. Of course, it is very important to back it up once in a while so as not to lose everything if there is a system problem."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sensuous
Sadie is the author of It's Not
About the Whip: Love, Sex, and Spirituality in the BDSM Scene (http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html).
She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of Copyright 2003 Sadie Sez Publications
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