In my Father's House, There Are Many Mansions
an Excerpt from Ties That Bind

By Guy Baldwin
Ties That Bind can be found at www.amazon.com

Read the SCENEprofiles Interview with Guy Baldwin

It has always been relatively easy to talk about the technical parts of the SM/leather scene- how to handle a whip or do an electrical scene- probably because these things aren't very personal. So we learn, "Attach shackle (A) to wrist (B)...," and so on. While this kind of information is certainly important, there are other aspects of the leather/SM experience that we have very carefully avoided mentioning for too long.

One man in Texas said to me, "My buddies would laugh at me if I told them what happens in my mind sometimes when I play." So, he doesn't tell, and they don't laugh. As you may have guessed, he was referring to the spiritual-transcendental? mystical? -experiences he has when he plays.

This guy is not alone. Many feel that it is not hot, or not butch to admit to such thoughts. Leather dykes have been talking openly about spiritual angles of the leather/SM scene for a long time, but most men are still shy about bringing them up.

It may come as a surprise to some of you, but the leather/SM lifestyle does bring up spiritual and religious issues for lots of guys in the scene. A man in New York with a Pentecostal background is concerned about his salvation; another wants information about his out-of-body experiences when in bondage. Fears about demonic possession dominate a guy who takes me aside to chat about it in Seattle . A Catholic in Dallas asks me about becoming a monk so that, maybe, he can whip himself without risking sin. A guy from Denver writes to ask about a possible relationship between meditation and submission. Another asks if he is confusing endorphins with spiritual ecstasy. .....

When the spiritual aspects of SM/leather/fetish sexualities are paid attention to, they can add to who we are as people by increasing intimacy. As I have often said, sexualities that keep us apart only diminish us as people.

 

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Copyright 2003
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