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The Aesthetics of BDSM
by Virgo, Co-Founder of the Dominant
submissive Society of Manitoba, Canada (DsSM) and Columnist
vvirgo@hotmail.com
http://www.dssm.org/
Virgo's essays can be found at:
http://www.dssm.org/Essays.htm
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty- that is all
Ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know."
~ "Ode on a Grecian Urn" (1820) by Keats
People often scoff at the notion that there may be a single capital
"T" Truth to BDSM. We are told that the lifestyle represents
as many forms as there are people involved, and that every individual
constructs BDSM in his or her own image. Due to the fact that BDSM
apparently takes many forms, we are supposed to accept difference within
our communities, and to live and let live. We tolerate each of the vast
assortment of kinks that are manifest within our communities, and do not
pass judgment on the things that others do lest we ourselves be judged.
These are all noble ideas, but they are not without drawbacks. If there
is no common thread that passes through each of us, how can we be bound
together as a group or community in meaningful ways? In our search for
people who are "like minded" in order to feel that we are not
perverts (or worse), do we not look for similarity and commonality
rather than diffusion and anarchy? If someone from the outside of our
lifestyle asks the straightforward question "what is BDSM all
about?" can you give that person a straightforward answer?
I am not going to present the argument that everyone involved in BDSM
has to participate in the same activities in order to be a "true
lifestyler." Some people like needle play, others love bondage, and
still others thrive on dominance and submission. Some people get off on
causing or inflicting pain, others do not. For some BDSM is all about
sex, for others it is a spiritual journey. However, I do believe that
underneath all of the actions there is a frame of mind that is common
among people in the lifestyle. The common bond is that BDSM is an
aesthetic experience to those individuals who are hardwired for, and
predisposed towards, this lifestyle.
Aesthetics is made up of several interrelated concepts. First, there is
the element of Truth to something that is aesthetically appealing, where
the inner essence of something is being revealed in a particular way.
Second, there is beauty, which, as the saying goes, is often in the eye
of the beholder. Finally, there is a sense of goodness, where something
is valued and praised. The love, and appreciation, of BDSM is an
entirely aesthetic experience to those who are involved in the
lifestyle. In the context of BDSM, the mind, body, and soul are all a
canvas upon which the artist creates his masterpiece.
Revealing an Inner Truth
There is a fundamental difference between how a sculptor, as opposed to
non-sculptor such as myself, looks at a piece of granite. When a
sculptor examines the object he is able to see the shape inside, and
then the artistic process becomes one in which the excess pebbles and
debris surrounding the beautiful image locked inside are painstakingly
removed. Similarly, in the context of Ds relationships, a good dominant
will usually be able to see the good inside of his partner, and will
help to shape the individual into a work of art. This process is not one
of adding things that do not exist, but is instead all about shaping and
releasing what is hidden and buried inside.
When the artist is finished with a sculpture, his skill is reflected in
the final product. In the context of Ds, this may be expressed as an
emotional glance upwards from a slave as she licks her master's boots,
or the way in which the master says "good girl" when she has
been exceptionally pleasing. While not everyone in the lifestyle likes
these particular things, only individuals with our given kink are able
to relate to acts such as this on an aesthetic level, and to see the
beauty within these expressions. On the flip side of things, a vanilla
person often reacts to seeing boots licked in much the same way as I
react to modern art (i.e. head cocked sideways, and a mixed bag of
feelings ranging from "interesting" to "why would anyone
do that?").
Beauty and BDSM
It is possible to cut up a second hand leather skirt, cut it into
strips, tack the strips onto a the cut-off end of an old hockey stick,
and use this as a flogger. If the bottom in a particular scene is
blindfolded, then the sensations will be much the same as if you are
using a plaited flogger that costs several hundred dollars. If they both
work, why would anyone spend money on a professionally made flogger that
is more expensive? The first answer to that question is some people do
not spend the money, and are happy using the hockey stick flogger.
However, a large number of people in the community enjoy using things
that are pretty, and look nice, while they play. For many people, the
beauty of the objects used in a scene makes or breaks the BDSM
experience.
A great many individuals find that there is beauty within the individual
actions and motions that constitute a scene. For example, I refer to
myself as a "technique junky." I love using techniques in
precise ways to create shapes in the air, or a very exact and specific
pattern of lines, or bruising, or blood upon a person's body. During the
process of a scene the body of my partner becomes my canvass, where the
finished product is living art made of patterns of moaning, struggling,
gasping. The visual and emotional elements of the entire package of a
scene come together in my own mind as an object of beauty.
Another portion of the community finds beauty in the end result of play.
During play, regardless of whether it is Ds, BD, or SM, individuals are
put into positions that are appealing and beautiful to their partner.
They may look at an ass that has been reddened after a particularly good
spanking, or the lines left behind during knife play, or look at
themselves in the mirror to see bruises from the night before. If they
dared to show off these cuts and bruises to their vanilla friends, the
reaction would usually be horror, pity, or a phone call to 911. Within
the community, these same marks are often viewed as objects of beauty,
and people view them with a sense of awe or envy.
Goodness
Whether something is good is a moral judgment. If a thing is deemed to
be good, a sense of validation follows. If something is seen as being
not good, then it is devalued. Most of us, at one point or another, have
struggled with the issue of whether what we do is right, and good, or if
it is bad and abusive. One of the reasons why we find solace in the
company of like-minded individuals is that a sense of legitimacy and
(gasp) normalcy stems from being with others who share your kinks. This
validation can be personal, where it is found within the bounds of a
relationship, or very public, where an audience helps to establish this
aesthetic quality.
In order for people to judge something as being good, those people first
have to see that something. Within a relationship, this process usually
means that you have done something well, and have thus expressed your
inner Truth, for your partner. The "good girl," the pat on the
head, or hearing the contented sigh, all function to validate that your
inner being is good. In ancient legend, Aristophanes describes how
humans used to be made up of four arms, four legs, two heads, and were
shaped as spheres. These humans grew powerful enough to challenge the
Gods. Rather than letting the upstart humans overtake the heavens, the
Gods struck them with bolts of lightning and split them in two. The end
result is that humans are doomed to eternally search for their missing,
complimentary, half. Finding someone with a kink that fits in with your
own is like finding the other half of the sphere, and it feels like you
are completing a single, whole, essence. The goodness of the union of
complimentary sides of the same thing has a goodness that is reflected
in a sense of harmony.
In the context of group settings, "showing off how good you
are" is a big part of the appeal to public play. Sometimes, in the
context of public play, things are done to make an impression on the
bottom in a scene. Other times they are done mostly for the benefit of
the audience. In both cases they contribute to the overall aesthetic
quality of what is happening, because the individuals and audience feed
off of each other. In the end, a good reaction from an audience works
wonders when it comes to feeling goodness where you may have felt bad
before (e.g. bad for wanting this, bad for having a large ass, bad for
getting turned on by causing pain, etc).
Conclusion
I think that Keats was correct when he wrote that beauty and truth are
always at the heart of important things. The things that unite us as a
community are that we find truth in our expression of BDSM, we find
beauty in its process, progress, and end results, and we see goodness
when we show ourselves, and others, what lies within our mind, body, and
soul. We find art and beauty within our needs and desires, and harmony
as like-minded individuals appreciate the expression of these desires.
The next time someone from the outside asks you what BDSM is all about,
just tell the person that it is about aesthetics, and you are searching
for your own truth within this art form. The person probably will not
understand where you are coming from. But is that not exactly the point?
~~~
Copyright 2004
This article is reprinted here with the explicit
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please link directly to this page or contact the author for permission.
It is a violation of copyright law to distribute or reprint this piece
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