The Great SM Demonstration Dilemma

By Daddy Bob Allen

Daddy Bob Allen is a well known personality in the California Scene, having written “The Only Reason I Mention This,” a collection of his essays from the Leather Journal and a novel called “The Wings of Icarus.” This article originally appeared in The Leather Journal; publisher: Dave Rhodes.

DaddyBob69@aol.com

Read the Interview with Daddy Bob Allen

Read Daddy Bob's Other articles: 
To Boldly Go 
The Spiritual Daddy   
The Wearin' O the Hides

I just got back from one of those in town weekend motel bike runs.  You know what that is -- getting back to nature without the dust and bugs...roughing it with a private shower, starched linens and ample toilet paper.  You get the picture.

Actually the closest we got to the roar of a motorcycle engine was the Jacuzzi pump, which is fine with me.  If the truth be known, Daddy Bob prefers this kind of camping out.  Tarantulas and scorpions are nice -- in terrariums.  In addition, I can't take any sun at all.  With my English tidal marsh pink complexion, I have only two colors: grub white and lobster red.  The only way for me to get a tan is to fall into a vat of soy sauce.  In short, to me the wilderness is a bar with a patio.

And speaking of the Jacuzzi, just to keep us all honest the hosts of the event goosed the temperature to the place on the dial marked ' Mount Saint Helens '.  I mean really.  This is SM.  We wanted a pillow, maybe?  The high point of the weekend was seeing a dozen naked Leathermen lounging in the bubbling water like so many giant garbanzo beans in a huge pot of minestrone.  But, I digress.

At this particular in town weekend motel bike run there were no less than twenty-seven different SM demonstrations.  We had 'Erotic Intensity Through Naval Torture', 'Non-fat Items for Force Feeding Sessions' and my personal favorite 'SM Toys From Your Sewing Kit'.  We had SM demonstrations with and without music, with and without artistic lighting, and one that involved a cast of costumed extras that would have tested Cecil B. De Mille's abilities to manage crowds effectively.  I came away wondering seriously if all of this really addressed our true place in the cosmos.

At this particular in town weekend motel bike run, after much thought on the matter, I reached a conclusion.  Actually it was more like a divine revelation, and I would like to share it with you.

SM demonstrations are boring.

You always thought there was something wrong with you, didn't you?  Well, there isn't.  SM demonstrations are boring.

Now, I wouldn't drop a hand grenade like that without something in the way of an explanation.  As always, Daddy Bob is here to help you.  Which brings to mind the three biggest SM lies.  "My Master doesn't understand me", "I'm Top only", and "I'm a policeman and I'm here to help you".

Well, Daddy Bob is here to help you understand why SM demonstrations are boring.

We first have to analyze the audience at any given SM demonstration.

If you are a bottom and are not acquainted with the technique that's being demonstrated, then someone has ruined a delightful surprise for you.  And even as a bottom you have the right to be outraged.

If you are a bottom and you already are acquainted with the technique that's being demonstrated, then most likely you could point to a quarter or half dozen men in the audience that have done it better -- and on your own person.  Automatically, your attention span for the demonstration is going to be limited.

If you are a Top who is not acquainted with the technique that's being demonstrated, then the tendency is to be jealous.  Tops, almost by definition, have only miniscule tolerances for adversity.

And if you are a Top who performs the ghoulish act as a matter of routine, then you are most likely not even at the demonstration to begin with.

This leaves us with an audience that is somewhere between indifferent and irreverent, and kids, that makes for lousy theater.

Now, I think is it also important to take a good hard look at the men who consistently volunteer for demonstration duty.  We'll discuss the bottoms first. The bottoms who seek out the demonstration stage tend to divide themselves into three general categories.

First we have the bottoms who are too young and inexperienced to know any better.  These are likely to be men new to our subculture and the demonstration stage is the place to get quickly and totally involved, to be 'with it'.  And though their efforts to finesse the usual routes of meeting potential Tops: bar cruising, hand shaking, and answering ads, are commendable; alas, most of these youngsters are more suited to Pampers commercials than having their four or five pubic hairs shaved off.

The second category of bottoms who seek out the demonstration stage are the, shall we say, more mature of our Brothers.  These are the men who have slipped out of sync with our youth and beauty oriented culture.  I'll be blunt.  For some men, the SM demonstration is the only sex they get.  And though their courage and persistence is noteworthy, I just don't think there will be standing room only if God ever decides to drip hot wax onto Mount Ararat .

The third level of bottoms who volunteer for demonstrations are the frustrated exhibitionist.  These are the men who need some teensy weensy excuse for taking their clothes off in public.  Now, far be it from me to object if a man wants to disrobe while I'm watching.  It's just that I was raised with a certain amount of gentlemanly manners.  If you're going to be a flasher, then at least have the good taste to do it where the audience will be offended.

Now we get to the Tops who consistently volunteer for demonstrations, and it is here that I have to tread carefully.  As I intimated earlier, my Brother Tops have limited tolerances for criticism.

What I will do is paraphrase a very frustrated music teacher I had in my youth.  She was dealing with the fact that my arms were too short to play the trombone, and not wanting her pearls to go before swine, or her checks to stop, she said, "Robert, if you can't make it in the band, you can always teach."

That's all I have to say about Tops who consistently appear on the demonstration stage.

Now, then.  I don't care how fast you run, you can't hide.  If you spend any time at all on the love-that-lash circuit, you'll eventually get roped into doing a demonstration.  We all have our little specialties that make us popular, our fortes that others want to learn about.  The fact that these expertises are an integral part of a private sex act doesn't seem to carry much weight.

When you are finally trapped, you have two choices.  You could move to Fargo , North Dakota and change you name.  If this is impractical, then Daddy Bob is going to jump in with a suggestion.

There is a way to make your demonstration profoundly informative, rivetingly exciting, deeply moving, teasingly naughty and a cathartically memorable event for all concerned.

Pick a stunningly beautiful bottom subject...period.

If your bottom subject is stunningly beautiful enough, it doesn't matter what you demonstrate, no one will be paying any attention to you anyway.

And if your bottom subject is stunningly beautiful enough, it isn't all that important you actually know how to do whatever it is you're demonstrating.

~~~

Copyright 2003
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