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Now Available
directly from the Publisher!
http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html
Introduction
Table of Contents
Compliments on Sadie's Writing
Book Introduction
By Sensuous Sadie
SensuousSadie@aol.com
www.sensuoussadie.com
I first started exploring Dominance and submission with my friend Bailey. We went camping one summer in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, and in the dark of the tent we shared our secret fantasies. I told him about wanting to be controlled in a sexual manner, although I didn’t really know what that meant. Bailey knew. To my extreme embarrassment he ordered me to masturbate, right there in the tent, right there in front of him. Then, when I was just short of orgasm, he made me stop. When I had cooled down, he started all over again. This feeling of being so close and then not being allowed release created an erotic pain, a submission that thrilled me. I wanted more. This would be the experience that turned me on to the world of BDSM: Bondage & Discipline; Dominance & Submission; and Sadism & Masochism
When Bailey and I started looking for information on what we were doing, we found the book Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns, which is still my favorite, not only for its content, but also for its lighthearted approach. Today there are many books on safety, apparatus, and erotica, but few that explore the power exchange from an emotional and spiritual point of view. Yet, it is this transformational aspect that makes my heart and body sing.
As I explored this lifestyle, I began to see how my BDSM experiences had a relationship to my spiritual path. I would describe my spiritual approach as Taoist in nature, with a relativist twist. This is why I capitalize both Dominant and Submissive; because just as in the yin/yang symbol, they are equal and interlocked parts of each other. Going into subspace isn’t just kinky sex for me, although it sure does turn me on. It’s also an entre into a mystical place similar to a walking meditation. The everyday world recedes, and I become more in touch with my own nature and with my higher power. Through exploring my BDSM orientation, I became more grounded and focused.
This book is a collection of columns that I wrote over the last few years as I recovered from a very painful breakup (just like a country song). The first section includes my personal reflections about being a Submissive, a Switch, and yes, a Dominant too. The second section includes the writing I’ve done in some unconventional, and sometimes controversial areas. The third section, Dating in the Scene follows the somewhat entertaining stories of my dating life. The fourth section, Diary of a Journalist Submissive, is the story about my experience at House Mermaid. In the fifth section I write about how the BDSM community has changed my views about our place in society. Finally, I write about being “Sensuous Sadie,” and how being a leader and a writer has changed my life.
I’m hoping my travels through these strange and mystical places will light your path as well.
~ Sensuous Sadie
Table of Contents
Part I – My Submissive Nature
It’s Not About the Whip – Exploring the Erotica Mystica of BDSM
My Submissive Nature
Thanksgiving Submission
Getting Slapped
Considering a 24/7 Relationship
Just Call Me a Bedroom Submissive
Between Domspace and Subspace
Vicarious Submission
Part II: Unconventional Explorations
Born a Hoochie Mama and Where I Got those Crazy Ideas
Fat Women, Body Image, and Sexual Politics in the BDSM Scene
The Nature of Sadism and the Sadism of my Nature
Meeting the Devil at the Crossroads of Spirituality, Sexuality, Love, and BDSM
Adultery, Betrayal, and How I Rationalized My Way Out of Things
Strong Female Submissives
The Submissive in Charge
Submissives who Train their Dominants
Steamy True Stories of Dominating and Submitting (with a little poetic license)
Part III: Dating in the Scene
The Single Submissive’s Lament
Novice on the Precipice
Can a Kinky Girl Date A Straight Guy? The Story of my Vacation in Vanillaland
Going on a Dating Sabbatical, and the One Who Slipped in Under the Wire
Part IV: Diary of a Journalist Submissive: My Adventures in Formal BDSM Training
Exploring the Possibility of Formal Training
Why This?
The First Weekend
Dex and Me
My PolySomething Relationships
Cupid, Collars, and Commitment
Morphing into the Group
Drunk on Chastity
Stepping Out
So What Do You Feel about All This?
It Ain’t Entirely a Bowl of Cherries
Closure
Part V: Relationships & Community
Think Globally, Spank Locally
BDSM Relationships: Vanilla with a Dash of Kink, or a Whole Different Animal?
How to Spot a Dominant at Ten Paces
Sadie Comes Out as a Bawdy Girl 1
Rough Sex, BDSM, and other Mushy Deliniations
Sobriquets and Screen Names: What we Call Ourselves
Making Sense of Internet Writing Styles
Why I Don’t Give a Hoot about Protocol and Why It’s Important to Know Anyway
Part VI: Becoming Sensuous Sadie
SCENEprofiles Interview with Sensuous Sadie
Arrogant, Hysterical, and Nearly Insane: Being a BDSM Writer
Top Three Reasons Why Readers Think I'm Full-o-Hooey
Controversial, Me?
Appendix
Glossary of BDSM Terms
About the Author
Why I Self Published this Book
Comments on Sadie’s Writing
With her generous spirit and questing intelligence, Sadie isn’t satisfied merely to have been there and done that – she needs to find out what it all means. Her insights will help speed many others along on their own journeys toward sexual self-revelation.
~ Gary Switch, Contributing Editor, Prometheus
It means a great deal to me to have my writing and activism understood by someone who is going to be continuing this work after I am gone. I also just loved the phrase "think globally, spank locally," and feel that it should probably be a
t-shirt and a bumper sticker if not a prime time TV show. What a great way to sum up the ways in which we must build community while seeking out our own pleasure. You're just a peach. Thanks so much for a brilliant and impassioned effort. Once more you have my admiration and best wishes.
~ Patrick Califia, Author & Activist
It’s very educating to get into Sadie’s mind through her writings. She definitely has a unique and refreshing view on what we do.
~ Sir Victor, Leader of DomSubFriends of New York City
That is a great column! I think you hit it right on the head. We can't turn away from our sexual activism because of things happening outside our community, and we do need to support our activists who give so much to help create a better world for all of us. You're really doing your part to activate our community.
~ Susan Wright, Founder of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
[Referring to Think Globally, Spank Locally]
Sadie’s down-to-earth lifestyle observations will have experienced players nodding their heads, and provide the beginner with an invaluable guide to the multi-faceted world of D/s-BDSM. Her explorations of the spirituality of kink and her willingness to share her personal experiences add substance and sizzle to this collection of essays.
~ Elizabeth, Board Member of Rose & Thorn of Vermont
Sensuous Sadie’s website not only offers the best collection of writings on the web examining the intersection of the spirit and sadoerotic, but it is also simply one of the most illuminating collections of SM writings period. Think of it as a continuation of the essays of Mark Thompson’s “Leatherfolk” tailored to the cyber age and the new millennium. Simply Wonderful!
~ Chris M, writer and Emeritus Board Member of Black Rose, Washington DC
It is evident that Sadie’s writing comes from the heart of someone in the D/s lifestyle. It’s nice for a change to have someone with experience in what they write.
~ Angel Babee, Leader of Sisters in Submission
Sadie’s scene writings are fresh, witty and observant.
~ Mayafire, Co-Leader of Albany Power Exchange (APeX), of New York
Sadie writes with compassion and conviction about the complexities of BDSM. Her writing has given voice to the needs and dreams of our community.
~ Jonathan, Executive Director of Rose & Thorn of Vermont
Even though I read Sadie’s columns on House Mermaid as they emerged, a strange thing happened when I edited the book for her; I found I could not put the book down. Sadie has the ability to translate her experiences into writing, a rare gift.
~ Dex, Master of House Mermaid
Your writing voice is clear without being strident and the breezy tone helps keep the “sturm und drang” out of what is surely a subject filled with a bit too much of that. Most of what I read on the web is so hopelessly cloying, overdone or just plain bad, so this a refreshing counterpoint.
~ Anne Marie Delaney
Sadie analyzes the male/female demographics of BDSM and provides the reader with valuable advice as to how to make them work for you.
~ Ed, Leader of White Mountains Different Strokes of New Hampshire
Sensuous Sadie is an exceptional writer, with a zest for the lifestyle few have.
~ Lady Bleu, Editor of DomSubLifestyle Online
I find Sensuous Sadie’s writing style an easy to read and refreshing view of the BDSM lifestyle from a real time player. She is a great resource with her perspective from both the top and the bottom.
~ Lord Battista, Erotic Power Exchange Dominion
Sadie is possibly the most vibrant and informed individual on the internet today. She never sleeps due to a surgically implanted device that allows her to labor tirelessly on her newsletter, her website, her very fascinating interviews, her BDSM writers Yahoo group, her leadership of Rose & Thorn, and very likely 30 or 40 more BDSM related activities I haven’t yet run across. I respect her for her strong opinions, and for being able to convey them without diminishing the validity of other ideas.
~ yielding, BDSM Columnist
Intriguing, Interesting, Insightful, Poignant and Enlightening. A thought provoking style that will make you want to read it more then once.
~ Charlie, Associate Editor of the BDSM News
It is with the greatest of pleasure that I comment on Sensuous Sadie’s work. Having featured her work on the BDSM Resource Center has seen a dynamic increase in positive comments on the fresh views that she shares. Sadie brings her style to the written word and her style is just that, style and delightfully Sadie. If you are some of the fortunate people that have had access to Sensuous Sadie’s literary contributions then you will feast in this compilation of her work. If you have not had that opportunity then you are in for a sumptuous treat! Her slant reflects the lifestyle, on both a personal and community level, in a way that gives food for thought as well as makes you smile.
~ CC, Editor of the BDSM Resource Center
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